Why doesn't my boyfriend of 2years, not want me anymore :-(

I've been with my man for 2years in January '14 and he is my first long time relationship (but it's not his first), I love him to pieces and we've never had a trust issue or girl/guy get involved in our relationship. We have a very strong bond and friendship and we normally see each other every day or most days. However there is one problem which always sticks out which is our sex life. When we first met, we would meet once a week and sleep at either his house or mine which would be a crazy night with barley any sleeping if you get my drift ;-) However, 2years have gone by and we've both got comfortable plus put on the pounds from this.. &Now our sex life is going down hill simply because he's always too tired, or he's ill, or he's just simply not onit but I'm starting to become sick of the rejection because whenever he wants sex, he gets it because he's quite forward and I feel as if I can't say no to him because I want the same thing anyway. But when I try it with him its a different story, he'll quite easily just be blunt with me and not want to do anything even though I'm trying everything possible to turn him on and he knows how horny I am but it's like it doesn't bother him. Also another aspect in our sex life, is when he is turned on and he wants me which is usually weekly, he'll literally just want sex. No oral sex and build up to the sex so it doesn't exactly get me raring to go which is a shame because I dont enjoy it as much as I use to yet I still crave him because I'm head over heels for him. Even when the sex is over, he barely cuddles me because he's so hot and sweaty and he'll just lie there on his phone or watching the tele which makes me feel like shit even though we've just had an "intimate" moment. I also always offer to please him and give him oral sex beforehand, yet he barely ever wants to do anything because he must bust and disappoint me. We use to do all sorts of things together in the first year or so, now he doesn't even finger me before sex so I find it hard to be pleased with the sex afterwards and I end up just wanting to do it all over again. He's also mentioned to me before that he goes soft if I'm too wet, HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?! Its like he's just trying to find an excuse.. I don't know what to do, he knows exactly how I feel because he says I mention it every couple of months and he's sick of hearing it :'( I just want to feel attractive and wanted by him again, I feel as if we've lost our passion and chemistry even though he says he feels completely happy in this relationship?! I just don't get it - Where do I go from here ? I don't want to end it with him because I utterly love him to pieces and I can't think of life without him but I don't know how much longer I can take with hoping every time I see him that we'll have sex, then nothing happens, so I try it on, he isn't onit, then I get hurt because the one person I care about the most doesn't want me :-( I sometimes lie there in bed crying and he'll just turn his back on me and go to sleep, sometimes I lie there googling 'why doesn't my boyfriend want sex' that sort of thing. I think he's very sensitive about the whole sex talk because he feels as if he can't satisfy me yet I don't feel as if he's trying at all?! Also he's smoked for the last 10years and I read that it can lower your libido, plus he's got some weight on him.. Yet I'm chubby and I'm still absolutely crazy for his love, I'm also on the pill and I know that can increase your libido so I don't think we're on the same page sexually :-( I just wish we were on the same page - PLEASE DEAR GOD HELP ME, I have spoken to friends &my boyfriend but I feel as if I'm in a black hole, I'm constantly emotional and even a song about sex can set me off crying because the song is so passionate and thats how I want my sex life to be - Also now I started to feel embarrassed watching a sex scene on tele or a film for some reason, I just don't feel comfortable because of how rocky me & my boyfriends sex life is at the moment :'( We've discussed me getting a dildo but I don't feel as if it will be enough because I want my boyfriend inside me, not some plastic penis.. I just want him to want me again..

Hello ! Reading your problem I got surprised! I. Am in a relationship with a guy that doesn't smoke and has no weight troubles neither do I , I have the same problem ! My man is behaving very same ! It was all hot and steamy from the start and now it's once a week and really selfish sex ! I would call it a quickie ! Feels like he has lost interest in me ! I'm laying there crying and he has he's back towards me ! Feels like he doesn't care ! My sex drive is high , and the thought about getting my satisfaction from toys makes me sick ! He doesn't cuddle me either ! I know how you feel ! And I don't know what to do either ,,,,,, rejection hurts a lot , it knocks down my self confidence ..... !

Reading your post almost made me cry (again). This is almost exactly what I am going through with my man. We have been togelther almost four years, living together for the last 3. In the last year, the sex is almost non existent. At first I thought it was because I was always gone traveling for work, but he says that he's just not interested in sex and has no desire. He says that I shouldn't take it personal but that's hard to handle. I feel so rejected. So much so that I started questioning whether there was someone else. Last week he told me that my insecurities were pushing him away and although he still loved me, didn't feel like he was still in love with me. Described our current situation as break pads grinding metal on metal. When I asked him does that mean he wants to end the relationship he said, he didn't know. He's tired of the constant arguing over sex and what he describes as my lack of trust in him and needs a change. We both went out of town over the weekend to get away and have some separation from the situation. Before he left, he was barely speaking to me. Now he is speaking, but we talk about general topics and what is going on with a trip we put on together for others to travel to Texas and the success of the trip, but nothing about us. Anytime I try to ask where we are or are going, I continue to get the I don't know. Should I just leave the relationship or give him some time to realize that my lack of trust is simply because of the lack of sex and how that part of our relationship has changed so much in the past year. I love this man to death and know that he is a good man to me.

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