Partner confuses me...

Hey everyone I'm having a few problems with my "relationship" with my "girlfriend" confusion and in general a few trust issues. Now im not the sort of guy who believes their partner should be sitting at home 24/7 waiting on them coming home. Been there done that (Not my choice) and that doesnt work. People in a relationship should be able to enjoy a social life outside of their relationship. Its only healthy. Im no control freak. I am 30 live in Ireland and have met a beautiful woman online who is also 30 and lives in England. This was about 4 months ago. We have met on two occasions, our first being a one day meet in a neutral place. The other being a long weekend where she has come over to me albeit again in a neutral place in Ireland. I am in love with this woman and she feels the same about me. We have even discussed (not in any depth) about the possibility of me moving over to her. I am not native to Ireland, I moved her 8 years ago, to be in a relationship with another woman, whom i was with for 10 years (I finished that relationship, partly because I met my current "girlfriend" but mostly because I was ridiculously unhappy.) I am basically looking for neutral advice on whether my current relationship is something worth pursuing. Ive looked indepth and listed **MY** good and perceived bad points about my new love interest. I am looking for a very long term (possibly happy ever after relationship) and to have a family. GOOD * We txt, email and call each other pretty much all day, everyday. There would rarely be a few hours between being in contact and it has been this way for 4 months. * We talk every night before bed, the only time being is if she was out or on occasion myself was out (Saturday night). * She says she loves me - very often. * She is caring and very passionate. * She works hard at her job and believes men and women pay their equal share in life (Shes NOT a gold digger). * Says she wants to "settle down". * Her biggest fear in life is not becoming a mother, but she doesnt want to have her children with just anyone, she wanted them with her ex partner, but then realised as that relationship began to break down that it wouldnt be fair on her, her ex or any future children to be in that situation. * She appears very genuine and honest and upfront about much of her past and her present. * Makes plans to see me more than i would do her. * Says she could never get over a partner cheating and that trust is massive in a relationship and that once broken is near impossible to regain. * She isnt into drugs, dabbled many years ago - but hasnt everyone? BAD * Pretty Clear self esteem issue. * Goes out clubbing every weekend until 4-5 in the morning with both male and female friends. * Has numerous male friends, every now and then a new name appears, someone she worked with or was friends with a while back. * Colourful sexual past - many more partners than myself including "friends with benefits" even though to me she seems relatively sexual conservative. * Very flirty - Makes no bones about talking to strangers in clubs/everyday life, she has said that she doesnt accept drinks or dance with men unless they are friends of hers. * History of hooking up with guys in clubs. * Best female friend says my love interest is "chatted up" more often than some others would be. * Has female friends who in her words are a little slutty, and who have taken her to house parties as support whilst they have sex with other men. * Girlfriend of her "best male friend" says she doesnt trust her with him. Could be jealousy - they are relatively close. * "Best male friend" has cheated on his girlfriend in the past, and my love interest has refused to take sides. * She is very tactile and touchy feely - im guessing in general, as i have never seen her around other people that often. * DRAMA!! either her or those around her - drinking, fighting (not her), break-ups, cheating (again not her) etc... * Is in general very sociable (not a bad trait) but is always receiving/sending messages - facebook/messanger/facetime/txts to her friends both male and female. Always has her phone locked, i think thats been happening for years and before i met her. That is pretty much it in a nutshell. Wondering what other peoples take is on the above and what sort of person she might really be. Thank-you for taking the time to read

I think you should have some sort I a trial parried. Possible come down for 2-3 weeks and stay with her, in her environment to see what it's like to be with we day and night. I think the clubbing, "friends" and drama will all change with time. Specially once you're in an official relationship.

Dear S.Stan83, Thank you for your openness. I hope my words can be of some help. Stan! I'm confused? I'm confused trying to understand what you really want. You comment at the beginning that you don't want someone waiting at home on you, and that you feel couples should have a social life separate from each other. Yet, in your list for the 'BAD' you say how she hangs out until four and five in the morning. Is that a deal breaker? Is it that you have an issue with her actually hanging out THAT LATE, or that it sometimes is with male friends? Is her having a lot a male friends an issue for you? Also, don't concern yourself with her girlfriends. It will be a losing battle. Not all her friends are like that (slutty- as you say), and if she has an issue with one of them- she will first consult another girlfriend about it before you. You may be consulted only for a guys P.O.V. (I don't know why women even do this) I would offer another suggestion but, I'm downright confused about whether you want a girl with a social life and isn't all about you and wanting to spend every waking moment with you. Or, that you rather have a girl that is more about you than about her friends and their drama. What exactly do you mean by neutral advice? To me, it seems more like you have the issues than her. I won't even get into your "Pretty Clear Self Esteem Issue"... Please try to clear these up. You seem to be battling with her as a person to other people than how she acts and behaves with you... Re-read your list of *BAD*... It has EVERYTHING to do with her SOCIAL LIFE. Bad things to list are picking her teeth ate dinner- or constantly... Always comparing herself to other women when you go out... Hates your taste in music. Snorts loudly when she laughs too hard... THOSE are bad habits of HERS! Those are things you consider whether you can live with those habits or not... NOT HER FRIENDS OR PAST! You even listing what you did in your 'bad' list could be deal breakers for her... Take some time, talk to your friends, and rethink your list. Comment back soon! I wanna hear your thoughts...