I don't know if I still love him :(

Hey I don't really no were to start but here's the basics.. I have been in a relationship for 11years I'm only 28 so we have been together since our teens.After 5 yrs we had a child then bought a house and a yr later had another child..WE put huge pressure on our relationship so much so young so quick but hey we're the choice WE MADE. When I was pregnant on our second child I had found out my partner cheated on you but then lied and lied denying i.I then had our second child 6 weeks early 2 weeks after i found out about his infidelity and we worked threw our problems bearing in mind I was made out to be slightly mad because of my accusations and made me feel guilty ECt because he still denied it.he was very unhelpful and tbh awful after we had our 2nd child..when our child was 7 mths old he admitted when he was intoxicated that he did cheat but only said he kissed her which I still donot believe.Ok so that's the background of my story it's now 3 1/2 years later and we have got passed all hats happened or he question I find myself are we....I recent him and a lot of the time really dislike the person he is but he's now a great dad a good partner in the whole but I just don't no if I love him anymore and really don't no what to do how do u no...

Dear Pippy, Thank you for your openness, I hope my words can be of some help. Lately Pippy I've notice how much I am encouraging people to leave a situation if they are unhappy. I want you to know that I feel the same for your circumstance as well but, I want you to know where my strong feeling for this comes from... My parents were fairly still young when they had my brother ( my mom was twenty-five, my dad was twenty-three). They never married and shortly broke up after he was born. My parents later got back together six years later and had me. My dad continued to be unfaithful, and my mom felt determined to keep him in our lives because she wanted us to live in a two parent home. The problem with this is that all my life, since I was five I've known about my dad cheating on my mom. I've seen them yell at each other and say 'I hate you!', and it was hard for me and my brother to live with them. We had both parents- though it was anything but a loving home. There was no loving relationship and they couldn't even just act like a family during the holidays- there was always an argument. There was always an argument because there was no trust. I lived with two people who stayed in the same home for the sake of their children. Two people who no longer loved or trusted each other. Two people who would even put their children against the other parent. My mom would not speak to me if I went out and had a 'father and daughter' day with my dad; she felt as though is some stupid way that I was siding or choosing him over her. Do you get what I'm getting at Pippy? I don't know your financial circumstances or the living situation you and your husband have. I don't even know if this is something you would want to first work out with counseling. I don't want to suggest you move on until you first give 'fixing it' a try. Sit down and talk with your husband once the kids are asleep. Tell him that you love him, but you don't like who he's come to be. Tell him you are unhappy and you want to know his thoughts. Ask him what he thinks about seeing a therapist, tell him that it may not only be your lack of trust in him- but that you yourself are contemplating a lot of things lately about where you are in your life and what you want to aspire for in the future. I hope this helps Pippy, and good luck!

If you are not sure whether you love this man or not, then you really don't. The feeling of love is unmistakable - it makes you feel uplifted and happy and you are definitely not that. People change and you two are no longer the teenage sweethearts you once were. You have grown apart. That's not tragic, it's just life. I think you will both be happier when you move on from each other - you cannot maintain the old youthful love story if it has run its course.

Thank you BDTS2287 and sharlee for your reply and I see were your both coming from and like most people I think my situation is like nobody else's.. I have a great circle of friends/family and just hate boaring them with this stuff.. Firstly I'm sorry u had such an upbringing and it's most definitely not like that and this is why I question our love if its better to leave ECt.. I encourage him and my children to spend as much family time as possible nothing attracts me more to him when he is involved in our family and we have days out ECt we would very rarely argue infront of the kids because I was brought up in an awful environment. And his own wasn\'t much better but do u ever get when ur in someone\'s company and you can just feel the awkwardness it\'s more like that and it\'s not all the time...see I\'m just sooooo confused because I believe HE could make us so happy because I love what we have home family ECt it\'s just us I just done feel a spark I feel he doesn\'t love or love me enough but insist he does so that\'s why I question is it actually me who doesn\'t love him and Im pushing it on him because I don\'t want to be the bad one to break our family up and no Ill be putting my children in a position that i would have to live in mums on social payment. Basically I don\'t feel a connection HE NEVER wants to do ANYTHING as a couple not as much as have a glass of wine/beer sitting in together unless there\'s friends family someone around,he can be so rude infront of any friends/family if he is in a mood would respect that it would be an embarrassment for me for him to behave this way.its always his way or Noway.. Even riting this I\'m jumping from one thing to another I just don\'t no I don\'t no how to decide think now what\'s best :(