What went wrong?? :(
LATONIA94 - Oct 21 2013 at 03:46
I'll keep this short and simple because I really just want someone else's opinion someone else's insight on what I should do or maybe where I went wrong. so here's the thing. I've been friends with this girl for about 5 months. We've met at work because we were in training together. Now keep in mind me and her both are lesbians. So through conversation I've learned that she had a girlfriend and I knew that from the beginning so that's not the issue. We begin to talk everyday and we've been able to relate and had a lot of things in common. Her relationship been rocky from the beginning and she would talk to me about it and I will give her advice and somewhere down the road we begin to like each other a little bit more. So I did talk to my friends about the situation and you know they said hey you need to maybe back off a little bit because you don't want to risk getting yourself hurt you don't want to fall for this girl and then you know you guys may not ever get to the point where you two may take place cause there's no guarantee that her and that girl will fall apart because relationships has its ups and downs but because I've liked the girl so much I pay no attention to that. So now at this time, lately I haven't really heard from her. I still see her at work and or whatever but its not the same. Days when shes off work i only get one text out the whole day. To note we used to talk every single day hours from the morning all the way till she gets home to go to bed and keep in mind we work together so I'm seeing her and talking to her. but now we don't talk. And I haven't been here anything negative about her relationship so maybe things have gotten better I'm not sure and either way it goes we are friends and if I could be no more than a friend then I'm fine with that but I have a problem with her not communicating with me like she used to. I don't expect to have all of her attention but I just want to know why the sudden change? I mean we cool not like we are fooling around we have never done anything sexually or anything I just want to know should I just back off?should I confront her? or ugh I don't know here. I'm really stuck I don't want to be judged I just want someone to just be honest and lay the truth on the table I'm willing to take it.
Latonia, it's obvious to me that you developed strong feelings for this woman and it appears she has noticed it too. She needed someone to confide in - not someone who would just make the issue harder for her to resolve. I think you want more from this woman than you can admit to yourself. Her withdrawal is telling you she doesn't want or can handle another romantic involvement at the moment. If you cannot be just a friend and an objective advisor to her, then leave her be. She doesn't need extra pressure since she is already confused. You have to be very honest with yourself here about what you really want. You both deserve that much. So back off and let her sort herself out. It has to be her decision either way.
What went wrong?? Her heart string were still with the gal she was with when you met her. Sorry, but true. As a result, she could not give herself to you too-completely or in good faith. She is sending you a message of friendship and nothing more-at this time. However, as time passes, she may reach out to you for something more. Good luc.
I totally agree I would say either she has noticed your feelings and backed off but not completely and given you a suttle message trying not to hurt ur feelings or jeopardise the friendship you guys have or she has mutual feelings and because of her relationship conflicts at the moment she is not ready nor wants to peruse another relationship as of yet..
I think it's definitely a friendship she values but like you notices the sexual tension between you.