Second opinion please

a few days ago my boyfriend suggested a 3sum with my best friend. obviously i am not okay with this and told him so, but it's still bothering me and making me feel like shit. we've been best friends forever and i've always felt like i've been compared to her and she's always been better. it makes me so angry and jealous that he thinks of her in that way because he is the one thing that's mine and i feel like she's somehow stealing him too without even trying. it's killing me inside. i wish i could let it go but i just can't, it's been burning in the back of my mind and driving me crazy. it's also making me resent my friend. i just need someone else's point of view. am i being too sensitive about this? i know he loves me but it disgusts me he thinks of her that way

I think you need to talk to him about it. And her, probably. be honest, and tell them (separately would probably be better in this case) how that makes you feel. Let your boyfriend know that you're insecure when it comes to her, and that it makes you uncomfortable, and tell her the same thing. I can't say it'll make it better but it'll probably make you you feel better.

Your boyfriend is not thinking with either his heart or his brain here. It's pure lust so don't feel he is choosing her over you emotionally. This behaviour is triggering your insecurities so you mustn't ruin a lifelong friendship or blame your girlfriend over this. Put the blame squarely where it belongs - with your cheating guy. Your friend would probably be horrifed by his idea. I say, lose the guy and keep the friend because if he lusts over one girl he will lust over others. And that is not your fault - it's his. No one 'belongs' to anyone else, either - we just stay with people because we want to. I feel you do have jealousy and insecurity issues but this guy is causing a lot of it. Partners should make you feel good, not miserable. You can do better.

Hey sweetie, I am so sorry you are feeling this way. For one, that's your best friend and since you known her forever, you love her and she loves you there is no reason why you should feel any resentment towards your best friend. Its not her fault that your boyfriend is acting the way that he is. Secondly, he does not love you. If he loves you he would not be asking you to put your back on the wall and choose. Don't get me wrong there is absolutely nothing wrong with spicing up a sex life, nonethless if it makes you feel uncomfortable DON'T DO IT!!! even if he is making you feel like crap. If he loved you he would not be making you feel like crap. You have very reason to feel this way and I don't think you are being senitive. I think you should follow your heart. Don't lose your best friend over someone who doesn't truly love you. I hope this helps you. Good luck xoxo Jenni

In my opinion from my own experience with the same situation... he wants to cheat. He's attracted to your friend and if your involved its not cheating, so he's off the hook. Don't play into it. It'll ruin your friendship as well as the relationship. Let him go and get all the strange he wants. Unfortunately it might happen anyway if you stick around, don't give him the opportunity. Move on to someone who wouldn't ask such a thing from you.