New relationship problems

I am 73 years old and in great health/shape and happy with myself. My wonderful wife of 33 years died of cancer last December. I am financially secure. In February I had a great need to make a phone call to the Mother of a bride (I photographed their wedding in 2005). I had decided that I needed to find a new relationship and did not want to be alone. When I called her she replied that she had just talked to God and told Him that she was tired of men and dating and was leaving it in Gods hands......Then I called. She is 56 years old ( slim blond and beautiful inside and out) and is a very busy Elementary school teacher and Union team member. I live approximately 350 miles from her, We talked, emailed at the beginning and spent 4 trips together. she spent 2 weeks last summer with me at my home near the ocean, In June I helped her get a Trailer so I could stay with her near her school. I am almost retired so I have plenty of time to do this. I own properties and several houses and have someone caretaking my cats. I have fallen in love with her but she is more reserved. We do a lot of things when she is free and I see the comforting look on her face when she looks at me. She wants me to kiss her when we part or when she comes home.... hugs and kisses( reserved) are plentiful. We have shared the bed since our second trip back in May but she is not interested in sex or "making Love" with me. She went to a religious counselor who told her that her dilemma was not uncommon and she could see a doctor and pray to God for advise. She has never had a "beautiful relationship" for more than a few months. She was married to an alcoholic for 23 years - separated from him three times and he finally chose alcoholism over marriage in 2006. That is when she got her divorce. She finished a 3 year relationship last year....When I confronted her a few days ago. She said she did not have the same feelings for me as I have and she lacks the spark. I knew it was a problem since there has been Zero intimacy. When I told her I wanted to leave she said she wanted to work on it and that I was "special" and worth it.......But those are just words. I have decided to stay and We will work on this. She brought me a book "The 5 love languages" by Gary Chapman. I did learn a few things but already do a lot of what men need to do to enhance a relationship. Her past problems with men seems to center around them liking the physical aspects or the relationship and nothing else after a few months........ I need some advise. PS I have not cheated on he....... But I am very much a "sexual person".....yes folks --even at 73.

This woman is understandably reserved and holding back - she has a history of bad and failed relationships behind her. She has been burned a lot by men. She is waiting to see how you work out. I'm afraid this is a long term thing. If you really love her, you will have to be patient as I don't see her wanting to be intimate with you until she fully trusts you to stick around. It may take several years to convince her you really love her so you will have to decide if you can go without sex for a long period. Women who don't like sex may still enjoy lots of cuddling and touching however so you may be able to get her to fall in love with you by being affectionate and caring. But if you try to rush or push things, this woman will run away. It's up to you to decide if she is worth all the time, effort, and patience you will have to put in.

I'm so sorry for your loss. But it sounds like your prayers have been answered. But it also doesn't mean that your prayers have been answered for all time. People come and go in our lives. Yes, she is young and beautiful. But we also bring our own problems into any relationship we have -- with other people, men, women, and God. So, be happy that you have found a wonderful friend who values you as much as this woman does. But don't rule out other things either. People often attract things they need but not necessarily things that are the best thing for them, even though it feels it is the best thing at the time. Take it slow. Keep your eyes open. Dont' limit yourself to the first thing that comes along after such a tragedy as you experienced. There are other wonderful people out there looking for the same thing you are.

Dear Sharelle and Harley, Thanks for your thoughtful insights and response. I realize that there is NO GUARANTEE in any new relationship. Both of us are Christians( something new to me). We are praying for some guidance. When I asked her why she liked me her response was " you are the only man who lets me be me". Funny thing this was almost the exact words for my dead wife. She left my an 80 page Journal. Regarding keeping my eyes open I have had many meetings with other women but have not been comfortable with any except a new one from my area. She wants to be my friend and I am Ok with that. It should not affect my current relationship since we discussed this recently. My girlfriend and I agree that I have a special gift----- Many people I just meet come to me , open up completely with their problems.....almost like I was a psychologist. My girlfriend says that " I was blessed to meet you". Last night we had another discussion and she asked me to be patient with her. I have no problem with that. Tonight we are attending a two day religious retreat........Please say a Prayer for us.