Really confused

Hi everybody! I don't even know why I am writing this, nor do I know how I found this website. It simply came up. I am dealing with a heartbreaking situation which is about to change my life completely. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 10 years. We've had our ups and lows but generally we've always showed love and affection for each other - people around us thought we were the ideal couple. We felt each other as close friends, not only lovers. My boyfriend is younger than me - I am 38, he is 32. Never had problems with the age issue. He's always been quite gelous. In fact he was even gelous by his best friends and sometimes fancied non-existent stories. I was always faithful even though had several chances to cheat - nothing really happened. My love for him was greater. Two weeks ago he came home late in the evening and told me that we needed to end our relationship. He said nothing was like before and he tried to fix it several times but it never worked. I was in shock !!! Not because something extraordinary happened to me - people separate every day after long relationships. The problem was that I never ever felt him estranged in any way. We got up with a kiss every morning, went to bed with a kiss and had sex just 3 days before his sudden revalation. And that evening as if the sky crashed over me. He said he felt me more like a friend or his sister, not like his lover any more. I was in huge pain - so devastated that I went to throw up in the bathroom. We have been trying to have children for 3 years but I'd been going through some fertility problems. He never insisted on having children so he never bothered the delay of my pregnancy. It was very difficult for me going 2-3 times every month to see the doctor and every time get disappointing news. Thus sex for me suddenly stopped to be so exciting but I tried so hard to be the perfect girlfriend though... After his abrupt decision, he confessed that he'd been having an affair for several weeks and that he felt the same strong feelings he felt at the beginning of our relationship but this time - for another woman. Later he reavealed that she was my age but married with two children and with a great and loving husband (as he described him). I have been trying to deal with my new situation for 2 or 3 days when suddenly he became loving again although on some nights he came home real late without telling me where he'd been. One evening we stayed at home to discuss our separation and were really frank with each other - I am grateful for that actually. It's just that that same night he wanted to make love to me and it felt really strange. It was more passionate than ever. Then he suddenly admited that I was still turning him on and he even suggested that we stayed together as roommates but officially not together. Needless to say, I could not accept that. The only reason I am staying in this house is because currently I've got nowhere to go and I am still trying to get on my feet after the shock. He is clearly accepting me as a woman and is being very affectionate although a little estranged and sometimes he admits that it's hard for him to withhold his feelings and desires. But he never proposed to get together again. Apparently the other woman did not tell her husband about her affair, she is living with her family, she is successful and sensitive (his words again). They do not meet very often. I really don't know what to do because it's killing me inside to know that he is with another woman and at the same time I would like to save this relationship. Also, each day I feel differently. I don't see him any more as my life-time partner and soulmate and also I feel betrayed which makes me feel estranged. He says he is confused and he doesn't want to lie to me. We haven't told our families and relatives yet about this new situation - they accept as as husband and wife although we've never officially married. It is so hard...so painful, I am totally lost. He said he would not accept easily a new man by my side but could not stay in my way if I started looking. He is also willing to continue donating for my efforts to get pregnant - he still wants a child from me. How could this be ?!? He had never been like this before. I would be happy if you could give me some advice or share similar experience. Do I have to fight for him or I should leave? I still love him, or at least, I belive so... Thank you for your time.

He is undoubtably enjoying playing both sides of the fence. Granted you relationship was lengthy but, apparently he decided to pick fresher fruit from the tree. His unwillingness to give up the other women is a clear signal that the flame no longer burns bright for you. It merely flickers occasionally. Get yourself back on your feet and find someone special that is on the same page with you. Whatever you do DO NOT have his baby. When you find someone special it will take the stress off and perhaps you will not have as difficult a time getting pregnant when the time is right. He is waiting for you so go and find him. Good Luck!!!