Alone and bitter

I weigh over 400 lbs, and have not had a date in 2.5 years. I used to be popular with the men, but now between not being found attractive, and feeling bad about myself, I can't seem to get a date. It is hard watching the world go by and seeing people in love. Please any encouragement. Has anyone experienced the same thing and finally met their true love. WILL ANYONE EVER WANT ME AGAIN?

I was recently engaged to be married and just months before the bid day, he left me. He said that he wanted more than I could give him and then I found out he left me for a 5'10 115 pound blonde that was to die for. This didn't make me feel too great being I was a size 26! I found myself depressed and alone. I was not attractive so I wasn't going out on dates like he was. Talk about heart break. I still cry over that jerk. But I now realize that as much as it hurt, it made me realize that I needed to change. I needed to loose weight. Not for him but for me. So I could feel better! Now I am just weeks away from open RNY. I know that you could feel better if you decide to take this big step. And even if you don't, know that you are a person just like everyone else. You deserve respect and love. Believe in yourself and start with YOU. It is hard to get a guy to love you if you don't love yourself. So please do love yourself, God does.

Try not to think of yourself as bitter...rather consider that you are cynically hopeful. I suspect your datelessness has more to do with how you feel about yourself. In the meantimes, look up "Fat Admirers" on the internet. There are (no pun intended) tons of men out there who love the warm, soft, cuddly flesh of a woman whose thighs part like custard. Don't ask me how I know this....

I met my hubby when I was 250+ and have gained up to 342-359 (depends on whose scales LOL). He has always been lovey dovey. He knows when I'm down and will hold me and cry with me. He was reluctant at first about my decision for wls but after researching, discussing it with my shrink and the surg at consult he is excited for me. I know he's scared to but he doesn't let it show much yet. I love him for being the man he is. Hang in there. There are good ones out there. (My hubby is 181 lbs). They are out there just gotta keep looking. We have been married 8 yrs this April.

I will not insult either of our intelligence by giving a flip answer. Yes there will be new relationships in your life. All of us feel we will never be loved again. I personally had to work on respectingf people who liked and loved me. Also i had anger at the fact when i was in my new weight range ,people were interested in me for the first time.But i have raised my expectations to having a loving stable person in my life. No longer will almost anyone do.

(I'm so surprised that so many answers to this were anonymous!) I'm not 400 lbs., but I was a hefty 250 for a long time, and many of my good friends are more than 300. We all fell in love (some of us more than once!), and have had wonderful relationships with wonderful men. I never had the experience of walking down the street and having men whistle, but I have never lacked for dates, companionship, sex, or love when I was interested. I found that the internet opened up a whole world of terrific guys in all shapes and sizes, but I agree with the other posters who said, be happy and love yourself, and the rest will follow. -Kate-

You are very over weight and have little respect for yourself to becomw so big. All these people will tell you that its OK to be fat, but, we all know that it just simply isn't. If you put half as much energy into loosing your weight as you do whining on, you'll be slim in no time, then life will be great. You have to love and respect yourself before you can expect it from someone else. Jayester

i know wot u mean but its not only u girls yhat have this problem,so do us men,i to weight 400lbs but cannt get a date,all i get are giggles,pointed fingers andsmart arse remarks,still i know wot there missing out on,and thats someone who would be faithfull,loving and fun to be with,and not some-one who is always looking for there next conquest.as for jayester his/her comments are not worth worrying about as i suspect they are a stick insect and dont have to worry about their figure,so dont be so nasty jayester,it takes all sorts to makethe world go round.

Jayester, with all due respect, it's fair enough saying it's not good to be fat and telling people to lose weight, but it's not that simple: food can be an addiction, just like alcohol and drugs can be, and just like alcohol and drugs can have dangerous effects on the body. (I.e if you are fat, you are more likely to suffer from coronary heart disease). It's not easy to cut down the fats etc in your diet,and the withdrawal symptoms can be really intense, as I'm sure many of you might know from previous experience!

The most beautiful woman I had ever seen weighed 440lbs shortly before she died, presumably of a heart-attack brought on by the ravages of bulemia and bad diets. She wrote these words on her "bodzilla" website:".....as I fre- quently strive to achieve....I pray for a heart of flower...not for a heart of stone...I view the golden rule as a pro- active statement....I try to live a life of love and forgiveness....this really is the essance of my Christianity." Through Christ, anyone can be beautiful as beauty comes from within and shines out of a person.

hi hi i am man i sufer from seclerderma why you filling try to forget let me know about you