Problem with not having sex?

I've been dating my girlfriend for over a year and we're doing really good, but recently I've been really stressed out over us not having sex yet. Now before you judge hear me out please. My problem comes from me wanting to have sex but I absolutely refuse to force her in any way/shape/form to do it. This was normally not a problem until our one year "dating anniversary" (we both decided that we should at least wait that long) and now she decided she wants to wait another 3-4 years. Now today we were with friends and she was asked how would she react if I had died while I'm in the military (I'm joining soon) to which she replied jokingly "yay now I can be a slut" (meaning have tons of meaningless sex). Now I got freaken pissed (I didn't say/do anything). She saw how mad I was and apologized but I'm still mad. So pretty much I'm trying to hold back my selfishishness and not forc her to have sex, sad for the thought of having to wait a long time before we can make love, and being pissed for a comment that actually really hurt me. Please help I just need someone elses opinion cause I really love her and she is the best thing to ever happen to me in my short miserable life

I'm as perplexed as you are and would like to say that i think it's amazing that you've been this patient and understanding with her on this topic. I wish there were more men in this world like you. The only think i can think of is that shes either had some bad experiences with sex and is just being extra cautious so she doesn't get hurt, or she's just not sexually attracted to you like you are her. Either way you need to talk to her and explain how you feel and let her know what a good thing she's got in a patient guy like you. Maybe show her this post.

Thanks that actually means alot. Any idea how I should bring this up?

Just speak from the heart. Tell her you love her and want to express that love in another way. That your ready and that your hurt she doesn't yet feel the same, and wonder if she ever will. You both need to be on the same page and she should, in my opinion, give you some hope for the near future. You deserve it. If you feel she's not being honest and just leading you on then maybe you should move on to a girl that will appreciate a kind patient man such as yourself. Good luck