Before me

I have been married for 27yrs and just recently found out about someone my husband was serious about in high school. He gets angry when I ask about and refuses to talk about it. I can not let it go....I think about it way too much but really feel a need to know some details. Nothing too invasive. How should I deal with this. FYI This person has just recently shared this information to mutual friends of our who had no idea, nor did I. We haven't even met as we do different activities with these friends. She made it sound like it was just recently instead of 30 yrs ago I think that's what bothers me most. My husband would never even consider cheating on me so that's a non issue. I need advise on how to settle my mind. Thank u I love him dearly

If you REALLY believe he wouldn't cheat on you, I wouldn't stress about it too much. You have to remember, he chose you, not her. Everyone has a past... I'm sure you had someone you were serious about in high school? I know it hurts when we think about the ones we love loving someone else.... but he's been with you for 30 years, and you should feel lucky to be the one he chose to spend his life with.

Thank u. Your right it hurts when we think about the ones we love loving someone else....but your also right...he chose me. I wonder, and I know I shouldn't, would he be with me if she hadn't turned him down?

Was I chosen by default?

A 27 yr marriage is far from a choice by default. If he is faithful do not dispair. Running into an old ex might bring back fond memories and spark a conversation but, inevitably the specials ones in their lives becomes the topic of conversation.

Thank you Your helpful and kind. Now all I have to do is get the image out of my head. lol

OMG It just dawned on me.....the conversation didn't go there as she had no idea who I was when our friends pointed it out. She said she's glad we didn't meet as it would have been awkward. My question is if they have already ran into each other and talked why would it be awkward? That ? I've always wondered about. what does THAT mean?

It may be that she is not comfortable in social settings and perhaps meeting you, despite how long it has been, might feel weird to her. I still do not believe you have anything to worry about.

Hi Pinkie I agree with golfnut, you have nothing to fear at all. if she did run into your husband, yes it may have reminder HER of the one that got away, not the other way round. That could be why she would feel awkward. Take the fact that your loving and devoted husband is exactly that, devoted and loving to you, YOU are the one that did not get away. go well and keep smiling

Thank u CONFUSEDBEAR, GOLFNUT and NEWSTART 13. all of u have really, REALLY helped a lot. I was struggling with this and u have made it very clear that I should feel as lucky as I always have and enjoy! FYI My husband is awesome and it is definitely HER lose. Keep helping people, your wisdom will be appreciated.