Bf is scared of telling his ex about me because...

I have been in a relationship with this guy for 7 months now, although we've been seeing eachother on average every other weekend. Truth is he's the ONE, we're both 38, madly in love and like peas in a pod, so alike and so compatible. The "problem" is that he's got a one year old kid with his ex gf (not been married and kid wasn't planned), with whom she split up last Dec ('12) after 2 years into the relationship (including pregnancy time. They were never right for eachother and they kept the child because his dad was gravely ill at the time and wanted to give him a grandchild before he passed away, which happened in Jan '13. We started seeing eachother towards the end of March '13. He doesn't want to get back with his ex and he is scared of telling her he's now seeing a new girl because he fears she will not allow him to see the child. His ex still harbors feeling of reconciliation and his mum thinks he should get back with her to give the child a family. But in the grand scheme of things, he's not in love with her, we have discussed about our future together, have plans of having kids together and is all hunky dory..except this. I don't know what to say to him, what advice to give him to help him make a step into having a conversation with her where I will be brought into the picture. I'm very leniant towards the fact that he's got a young son and is his top priority, I have embraced that and accepted is going to be part of my life but is there a timeline I need to give into "my" introduction? An ultimatum? How do I go about telling him what/when to do it if there's ever a right time? I love him more than words can describe and he does too and don't want to step on people's toes. I'm confused...

I'm 19 and going through the exact same thing. Literally. Minus the passing of my partners father. Nevertheless, I've decided to talk to him about it. The way I see it, you're his priority (next to his child of course) not his ex gf. He loves and cares about you it seems, so you don't necessarily have to give him an ultimatum, but help him understand that he has to draw a line. In complete honesty, she should know who you are once you meet his son. THAT'S when it becomes a priority that she knows who you are because now you're a part of her sons life. Before that though, it would be ideal for him to have a conversation with his ex saying that he doesn't feel for her the way she does for him and that he's going to find someone else (or already has, his choice of words). Remember: When it boils down to it, if he's not with her, all they really have to do is be cordial. She doesn't need to know anything that doesn't pertain to their son and vice versa. As far as when you should say something, say it as soon as possible. Don't wait. Don't let time pass and keep him thinking that everything is okay the way it is. You love him, and you have to think about your relationship and the honesty it requires to be a successful one. He will love that you're taking an interest in your relationship even if he doesn't show it. But if you wait to tell him, it may be too late. His ex may come to the conclusion that if he isn't seeing anyone, that he wants to be with her and try something. And nobody wants that. Don't worry, it'll work out, please just let him know EXACTLY how you feel as SOON as you can :)

We are both 38 so in theory the least he can be is mature about it. When you discussed it with your partner, what exactly did he say to you? what did he reply and said he would do? Thanks