Wife, after my deployment

Ok folks, here's the issue. I have been married to a wonderful woman for nearly 3 years. I was a horrible husband nearly 2 years ago and prior, and had chatted with women on craigslist, a fact that I deeply regret and hate myself for. I have never physically cheated on my wife. I recently returned from Afghanistan a completely changed man, Absence did indeed make the heart grow fonder in this case, as I returned expecting a marriage that was to be envied. I truly believed we could overcome anything and everything, because I was married to my best friend. She let the pretense that we were fine play out until I returned, when we both could feel an emotional distance between us. This emotional distance is expected and very common post deployment. Rather than give it the time we needed to readjust to me being home, she suggested a separation, followed days later with the admission that she felt relieved when she thought about divorce. I have now been living on my own for over a month, while she brought in a male roommate, a mutual friend, the day I moved out. I have not sought to replace her in any aspect, as she is the only woman I wish to spend time with or have any relation with. She is the mother of my only child, and has stated she plans to stay at our current location as to ensure I will always have access to my son. HERE is what troubles me. She has replaced me in nearly every aspect that is non romantic, i.e. Grocery Shopping, eating, cleaning, relaxing, doctor appointments, running errands, etc with her male roommate. She occasionally kisses me on the lips, which to her is the way she connects best to her partners, yet shortly after she does so, feels conflicted. She has limited HER time with me, so far as to decline even the most basic of times, i.e. I have recently had a shoulder surgery and still have issues doing the most basic of chores around the house, she had promised to help me, but by doing such, only comes by for about 30 minutes a day where I get to see my son, as I can't properly care for him with one arm. I can see and feel the love she feels for me, that she tries to hide from herself. I CAN live without her, but I don't WANT to. I have to have contact with her for the sake of our son, so walking away and moving on isn't really an option for me. Should I try to reconnect by attempting to date her again? I have debated physically writing her a love letter, but I have a thin line to walk here, as if I push too hard, I'll push her away, but if I just roll over, I'll lose her as well. Any advice from the women out there? What would you want from someone who is devoted to you completely and you have feelings for him, but are denying them? I'm lost like I've never been lost before and don't know how to work through this. She is, simply put, the love of my life.

you cant make her feel for you,if she has decided to let her marriage its better u adapt to it,no use crying move on and concentrate on yourself and your son