One desperate girl

Long story short; 21 year old female virgin, I have never even been close to some intimacy, I am studying particle physics (successfully, so far), I speak three languages + my native language, I used to be very fat (more than 80 kg, for the US: 1 pound = 0.45 kg), I lost 20 kg, I am active, I do have some "friends", but they never invite me to do anything, I usually initiate our meetings. They tell me I am fearless and independent, even smart (personally, I believe I am not lazy, that's all, all the rest is a consequence of that) I get along with boys more than girls. Please, do not imagine someone sitting in front of computer all day, I am able to talk to people, even if I am scared sometimes. So I am wondering why nobody wants to be around me? Why is nobody asking me out or anything? I do not consider myself ugly, but I am more and more afraid that I am a monster that just isn't wanted and doesn't deserve to be loved. Or am I just intimidating everybody?

Dear face facebones, I'm a 21 year old male from the netherlands and I study to be an embedded systems engineer so I appolegize up front for my bad grammar. I spend the bulk of my youth with 2 friends. We wrote code and talked about electronics and sience. I didn't make friends very easily and people dind't understand me, social convention and the rules of social interaction have always baffeld me. I mostly hanged with girls, they where more open and more accepting of emotions. Around the age of 13 I met my best friend, a girl in my class who looked thru all the social akwardness and saw my intentions where good. We hanged day and night and told each other everything. Together we became part of a alternative group at school, everyone in this group was a little weird and that created a vibe of acceptance to each our excentricities. Around the age of 15 I had for the first time a group of people who I could call friends, people who acctually called me and wanted to hang out. We where a bunch of cocial cast outs and I started to realize that 90% of the people are afraid to act and think as they please, they are ruled by group pressure and inacceptance. These people did not want me there, at their bar and party's. I got beat up and got in to fights regularly because I whore diffrent clothes and wasnt the same as them. I came online to find a place to share my feelings about my best friend but I read your post instead and felt I could help you by telling my story. This might be a faulty conclusion but I feel your trying very hard to fit in. Looks arn't importtant, people who dont like you because of your apearance are people you dont want to hang out with. Your looks can be a nice filter for bullshit because when people do want to talk or do stuff you know its because they like you and your company not just your looks. Everyone deserves to be loved but in my ecperience the people who deserve to be loved the most are loved least. The "asshole boy" gets the girl and in your case the goodlooking shallow girl gets the boy. Dont bother with these people, all of it is based on nothing. Try to find people who differ from the mainstream and they will accept you for who you are, wether you are somekind of metalhead or a theoratical phicisist. Talk a lot and dont be afaird to make mistakes or be afraid of akwerdness, if you like someone tell them, if you feel somethings wrong ask about it. If you like a guy just hang out, or ask him if he wants to hang out, dates arent the best way to get to know someone. Most of the good guys out there are a little bit shy and not that proactive, probably in the same situation as you. There are people out there who would love to be friends or your boyfriend , you just have not found them yet, just as I had before I met my best friend. I hope this helped you, if you want to talk more you can email me at: [e-mail address removed] Love and regards your unknow friend Pablo

I think a lot of people just don't really think they're dateable. So if you meet someone who's into you, often they'll think they're not good enough (I have had this role reversal happen to me a few times, where I'm thinking I'm not good enough and then the other person confesses it first). But I think the other thing is that so much happens online now. People just expect to have a relationship go: creep on Facebook->chat on Facebook->texting->maybe phone->dating. Many people don't even really consider dating in real life now. And people generally find smart girls attractive. I'm pretty outgoing and people constantly tell me I'm intimidating. All I study is Literature (and Literacy Science)! The answer could be Particle Physics (not that it's ever a bad thing to be a super-genius).

By "attractive," I meant intimidating. Ha, Freudian slip maybe?