I just want to be happy....

I have been exclusively investigating the character of a certain young man for over 3 years now. I made my decision early on that I was in love with him and that I wanted to be his wife. He has been married before and lost his mother to cancer last year. I do not know where we stand right now because we are not on speaking terms. I love him with every ounce of my being, I would give anything for him at anytime...I have been called obsessed and even crazy. Recently our fights have been around the amount of attention I want from him and what he is willing to give....I am very affectionate and like a lot of attention to thrive, he on the other hand has become significantly distant from when we started out dating. I am in grad school and he has a very demanding job so the time we can spend together is limited already so in my opinion text and telephone are a means of keeping in touch but to him it is annoying. I want to respect his wishes but what about mine...I do all that is in my power to give him what he wants but we does not do the same for me. The disproportionate burden has led to this current fight and I feel that there is no resolution if he is stuck in his mindset. I want to be happy with the man that I love. I want to give him what he wants but it seems that my desires are of no consequence to him. It is quite heartbreaking but my reality is that he does not love me the same way that I love him. I want to hold on so bad, I hope that he will be different - that he will want to do all that he can for me but it doesn't seem that why. I am sad and frustrated. My heart is set on him, but I cannot continue in an uneven relationship. I want to call but there is nothing to talk about anymore. How do I love him and still move on with my life.....

You answered your own question when you said "my reality is that he does not love me the same way that I love him" and you will never get contentment because of that in this relationship. You want him to be different and hope he will be?, So how is it that you love someone you want to change? Perhaps you should let go of this one, after all you have just given him 3 years of your life and find the one you do not need to change and will love you the way you need to be loved. Everyone is different and it can take along time to find what is right for you. There is nothing wrong in what your looking for, it is just not going to be found with this person, having said that when you do walk away you might find that he actually misses you and comes after you, it could be he is afraid you are controlling and unnaturally obsessed, that screams mental illness and could be pushing him away, let go and live your life going forward, if he is the one , he will end up with you, if he isn't even tying him up and locking him in a room will not get him to be with you. I hope this helps with your thoughts