Hurt and confused......

My problem is two-part**I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and we also lived with his family over the summer while looking for my first home. My daughter is considered like a niece to my BF's sisters and his parents consider her their grand-daughter. He has a sister who had a baby a year ago and his mom complains about how they don't see them often enough. While we were living with them his sister came by to visit. I had just gotten over an illness and had also injured my back but had already mended and was no longer sick. We were sitting down on the couch and I asked my BF's mom if I could hold the baby and she hesitated and then said "No, you better not since you hurt your back - well maybe she can just sit on your lap but don't hold her...." something like that, can't remember exactly what was said. I should note that my BF's sister and her husband moved out of his parents house because they were fighting too often with his mom - she's very controlling and can be resentful or bitter. It drove them crazy so they got their own place but don't visit very much. Anyways, I know that his whole family loves my daughter and I and yet today a similar incident occurred and really hurt my feelings. It was my BF's niece's first birthday and so we met at a restaurant and had dinner. We proceeded to have his niece open her gifts and her Dad took pictures with the baby seated in the gift-giver's lap or being held by them. My daughter and I were seated next to his sister and the baby and so I asked if I could hold her (twice) and she ignored my request while not looking at me and then said "she can sit right here" on my daughter's right leg and so I awkwardly held her torso while the Dad took a picture of us (seemed like it was more of a picture of my daughter and the baby and the gift we brought, than a picture with both my daughter and I.) My BF held her as we were getting our coats on and he turned towards me so I could hold her hand and talk to her. When we were preparing to leave we gave hugs and kisses to everyone and his sister said "thank you so much for coming and for all those books you gave her!" It was almost as if I had a big sticker on my forehead that said: "DON'T LET HER HOLD THE BABY - SHE HAS A DISEASE AND DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE BABIES!!!"- (I was too hurt to ask my BF if he mentioned to his sister or his mom that I had recently been ill but was too proud to ask!) The second problem has to do with my BF. He's a Scorpio and I am a Gemini however, we are both very evolved and he is a 'gentle' and very compassionate (never vindictive) type of Scorp. Lately for maybe the last few months, especially when I have PMS and am very irritable he will say "You're so mean! Relax!" and more than often it will be him that is in one of his typical Scorpio 'moods' where he doesn't want to talk or be touched and if I kiss or caress him it's met with a cold shoulder or simply no reaction whatsoever. Later he will come out of his 'mood' and snuggle or hug and kiss me and I of course am a little angry, a little hurt at his coldness just minutes or hours before. He then will give me a wry look and with a smile say "there you go again, getting all mean!" it's exhausting playing this 'game' when all I want is to give him love and to get love in return. I sense that he's also hurt by my seemingly 'meanness'. He's very very close to my daughter and has been the absolute best father to her but I wonder if he in fact loves her more than me and is staying in this relationship for her sake. He's told me many times how he feels he's lost something - some kind of vitality or honesty with himself and that it's shut down when he's around my daughter and I and yet, other parts of him are enriched and enlivened so much so - (his words, not mine), that he can't bear to be away from us for more than a week or two at a time! He's been struggling with indecision about whether to go back to school or work or both part-time and has finally just started to muster the courage to choose a path and take it this winter. We don't have any other 'problems' besides this one thing that always perturbs me so much! Thanks for reading my incredibly long vent-spasm-letter!!! :)

The problem is you are making issues out of nothing, everyone has moods, everyone is sensitive, and as for the baby holding thing, get a grip, the baby could have been unwell or a bit unsettled, it is not about you all the time. I think the first incident his mom was concerned about your back, because children can put a strain on it and as for your one year old niece maybe they did not want her being handed around because she may have been a bit overwhelmed with all the presents and people and her mother felt she would be more settled with her. give yourself a break and get over it all, you might just becoming a bit mean with all this negative thinking , let it go there is more to life.