Needs her space...

My girlfriend of around 4 years has very suddenly (in the last few weeks) decided she is bored with our relationship. She admits herself it was like she woke up one morning and she just lost interest. I've been nothing but good to her and I'm currently saving for our first house while she is at college. She means the world to me. Unfortunately though, she says she needs her space and no matter how much I tell her that I love her, I feel like I'm pushing her away while she decides what to do. It's pretty heartbreaking for me and I can only hope that she decides she misses me. To make matters worse she has been acting strangely (she has previously flirted with guys online and it's all been forgiven and in the past), she is showing signs of being flirty again with online people. I hate to do it but I checked her email (which she keeps hidden from me) and notice that she has been talking with one of my friends that I play online games with. It's very clear that they like each other. She thinks that love should be like in love films (i'm certain it's not...) and I think she is just chasing the brand new relationship feeling. I'm very angry and my friend and her but I can't confront her, not when she is making up her mind and if i confronted my friend he will tell her as well. I want her back but this is the 3rd time she has been flirting online with guys and it really does hurt me every time. I'm not sure what I should do and I don't have any friends that I can talk to about this and I won't speak about these things with family. What should I do?

After four years, it's easy for a relationship to fall into a routine that might be rather dull for one or both of the partners. Treat your girlfriend as if you have just met her and do all the romantic things new lovers do. Ask her in what way she is bored - maybe she wants you to spice things up in the bedroom, for example. A relationship needs constant care and maintenance to keep it fresh, alive. You shouldn't stop trying to please your partner just because it seems like you are in a committed relationship. Can you honestly say you have been doing your share to maintain the romance?

I think I was in a very similar situation as your girlfriend. Maybe you should give her her space, but make sure you show initiative and ask her out later on if you want her back. I don't think people just stop loving someone or become bored overnight, it's usually an ongoing thing... Was there anything she was lacking in this relationship? Maybe you need to reconnect and rediscover each other? What does she want to do? However sometimes its just not meant to be :(

Sharelle, you made a very good point there. Thinking about it, i've not been what she would class as romantic. I do things I think is romantic but I guess she wouldn't class it as that. Bedroom is fine, there is no problems there (high-5's all round). Smilga, thanks for your input. She wants to travel, I think because I'm anti-social and like being at home and she wants to travel and do things - that is what she is missing. I think once she has made up her mind and if she does miss me then I will try to be more romantic and make an effort to try new things with her and take her places. I had a good long talk with a good friend tonight and I can make my peace with whichever outcome. Thank you for all your support and messages.