Relationship end or not !!!!!!!

Hiya. I just need some thoughts on my story. I'm 50uk and my now x girlfriend (polish) 48, both young at heart and both been through previous crap relationships in our pasts. We both met at the beginning of 2013, because of our distance apart we only saw each other every 2/3 weeks, we spoke every night for an hour + every night on Skype, we got on fantastic, interests etc the same, saw very little that would put me off havering a relationship other than being a long distance relationship. We both felt the same way. Her daughter lived in London with her boyfriend. We were both starting to hate the time and distance apart, we wanted to be together so we set a date of August to come together in the uk permanently, I found a new larger house to rent, I was over the moon, the perfect relationship with a huge amount of love, first time I had really felt so strong, I had some fears as to why she wanted to come here as her daughter was here as well. But I kept those thoughts distant, looking back there was the blind love and a romantic love story unfolding before you, but this time you're the stars of the story. In August 2013 she arrived, but just before she arrived I had notice of redundancy, from there on nothing went right, some very nightly things with her, no priority or urgency to get work for her sorted, I was going nuts with stress about work and where money was coming from, my saving were depleting fast, I often found it hard to keep my stress in check, minor things became major things, was getting very frustrated with how she thought and behaved, my 8 yr old son is very lovable and towards her, out on a family walk with the 3 of us she pretty much spent the whole time talking to her daughter on the mobile, nothing urgent, i couldn't understand her, golden opportunity to bond with my son, especially as he only comes every 2 weeks. She eventually got work sorted some months later, but chose to do night work, we were often passing ships in the night, stress for me was getting worse as I had to work for myself (builder) arguments were getting often and me often not keeping my mouth shut over frustration at the finiancial situation and how she thought and dealt with things. Her dog was a nightmare, he bit my youngest at the beginning and very viscous to other people. But she did nothing, couldn't understand my frustration over the dog. If that had been me I would have been mortified and wouldn't have stopped apologising, I ended up spending 4 weeks re training him, (it worked) Long Story short I could have handled things better (have in the past) most things were workable but the major problem was my eldest son and her. He's full time with me and has since the age of 3. He a typical teenager, messy, hates all the good you cook him and lucky if you get a grunt answer from him, his respect towards me is crud, disrespecting house rules and time home etc. she hated this, all though he was never directly disrespectful to her. Ie bad words, he was hardly around. She started doing silly things like refusing to cook a meal for him as he often didn't eat what was cooked, wouldn't wash his plate up with the rest of the washing up, problem was she would not say anything to anyone what her intentions were, for example we has had 2 really nice days them out of the blue wouldn't put food from the saucepan onto a plate for him but others ok, was finding it very hard and very frustrating and harder and harder to control my frustration, although she denied it could really see hate between them. He no longer in the slightest wanted to show any interest for her. There's just some examples of what life was like at home. For me I felt like I was in the middle of a whirlpool. But I still loved her with all my heart but had such great sadness at the same time. Her daughter was lovely and met often and got on really well, but 2 months ago she split from her boyfriend and returned to Poland, I did wander with some of the crap we went through and now her daughter returning, how long before she goes, so now insecurity was added to my list of problems, there had been often I'm going back then next day she wanted everything to try again. Went through that a few times. So all starting to be a mess. The cat we had kittens, for some unknown reason 3 of them died, she blamed my son doing, there was no evidence other than him being in the room roughly at a time when one died. She was convinced he had something to do with it. The cats previous litter 2 had died and only I had been around. All I could see was hate for him. I defended my son and refused to side with her. Mainly because I know him and no evidence to suggest he would ever do such a thing. Well she decided to return to Poland. Not just because of the problems we had but her mother is very ill and her daughter since returning to Poland has gone off the rails. So for her she felt she had no choice with everything. I was devastated. Part of me has to except its for the best, another part won't, another with regret and sheer frustration. I know the process of grief and the pain that follows, time heals etc, but I really do love her, there was good times and the close times we had were very special, the problem is that now she's there she's missing badly, still loves what she believes as true love, she can't change her reasons for going or help what brought the conclusion of us to an end. She wants to keep in touch, she wants to visit and me to visit her, it feels like still keeping one hand on the last thread, she won't return because of her problems there. I appreciate her family need her too and those problems are real. She won't commit to anything for the possible future, my son hopefully for him joins the Royal Marines in September and would start his new life. That does free me up to a point, she won't make any promises for the future and says unfair to give me hope, the future will be what ever it is, but she does not want to cut the final rope, she says has hope that one day we may be together in the future, I could go and visit in February and effectively we start back at the beginning, I don't know. I don't want to be a friends with benefits, we could rekindle the relationship possibly, my son could leave in September and her problems in Poland sorted out. And then have a second chance, or I could be wasting my time, and forever be held on the end of a piece string. I would have found closure easier of she did not say the things she has said since leaving, my head is clouded, I still have the hassles and worts with work and money and my eldest, I love her very much but also very aware of the problems we had and what she had. I really don't know how to deal with this. Promises she does not give, commitment she says she can't give, time will tell is the best I get, but says she still loves with all her heart. Sorry it's so long but too much to explain in one paragraph. But needed to give a fair picture behind it all. Just need some thoughts from you guys. Many thanks Darren x

Sorry for some of the spelling errors, the joys of predictive tx. :-)

Thanks for the reply. Before she came there were no problems. The redundancy happened a week after she came, everything was ok with my son before she came he behaved like a normal teenager, in and out without a word, didn't want some dinners or did not come home for dinner sometimes, grunts for answers, just normal teenager behaviour, nothing too major. Her words to him amounted to about a dozen words in her time, she made no effort to bond with him in any way, her admittance was she had not thought about the kid side of things, had gone through the teenage years and didn't want to do it again. She was the one who started to behave childishly by not putting anything on his plate from the end of the second week, which left me as piggy in the middle. With work and money I managed to rescue to the point of getting my head back above the water, in this time she made little effort about getting work and helping out financially. Her main interest was out on long walks with her. She opted only to find part time work, when full time was offered she turned it down, she was able to pay £50 a week to help out with bills and didn't see the need to do any more work.