Maybe I should just end it :/

When I was little my mom beat me bad. She always told me she hates me. All the times she beated me and told me she hates me and that no one cares about me I always cutt myself because I thought it would help that pain inside. Every morning she hits me because she couldn't find her clothes or that something's dirty. At school I was bullied being called names like ugly fat and they always told me to go kill meyself and now that I'm older I can't get over the past no matter how much I try I cry when I get depressed and sometimes even cutt myself some more. I just don't know what to do anymore. I still just wanna kill myself.

No things do get better. I understand where you are coming from talk to a school counselor they really help me even going to church. The best thing I ever did was join the military and got away. Don't listen to people they are often mean for no reason and don't understand. I am years past my issue but I still cry every so often for no reason do to my past but now I wouldn't trade it for the world because it made me who I am. But you need to talk to someone who can really make a change because the point you are at. My God bless you and have something special in store for your life.

Wolffy - Please don't do anything drastic! Have you tried any professional help? These feelings are deep seated but your mother was WRONG! Her words, her actions, her treatment of you! She is the truly sick, hateful, ugly one! Please try to get professional help! Let me know your circumstances and I will try to help you find a place to get help! Every one deserves to have a happy life and not suffer! God Bless you!