Boyfriend. :/ I have no clue! ...

My boyfriend & I have a very close past. We met 6 years ago and then dated for 2 years. We then broke up because he had to move across the country. He was gone for 3 years and just came back in August. I heard he was back so we arranged to meet up. We evolved the same feelings that we once had for each other. & of course when he was gone those 3 years we both had other relationships. I told him I had only dated 5 guys. And I've kissed only 5 but I felt bad for lying so the other night I told him it was actually 10 guys that I had kissed. I know. Lying was wrong. And I was extremely sorry for it. I still am. He took it soo badly that he doesn't even know what to do anymore. His parents lied to each other and now fight all the time but that was because they were cheating on each other. I know what I did was wrong. & I shouldn't have done it. But is he over reacting? We are on a break now as he thinks about what he wants to do. And if he isn't over reacting what can I do to make everything okay again? What can I do? Please.

Without judging you, is doesn't matter what you lied about or who you lied to, you still lied. You've shown your boyfriend the person you are and in his eyes, his past experience (which was his part of his upbringing) with his parents who fought all the time (because they were cheating on each other) has put the situation in the same boat as them. He doesn't want/need a relationship with someone who lies, no matter if it's a little one or big one, it's still a lie. I think you'll find he wants a relationship based on trust and honesty as most of us do when we get seriously involved. No, I don't think he's over reacting but rather, he's stepped back to get a better look at you and the situation. You met 6 years ago and in that 6 year period, you both should have matured a little more. Judging by his reaction, he has, but have you? I think you're basically a good person because you've taken the time to put your problem 'on paper'. You stated you know you've done the wrong thing and you're extremely sorry for it. You now need to ask yourself if you're worried about the actual lie or what he thinks of you as a person....the fallout from it. You can't judge your boyfriend for his reaction to it...only wait for his next action.

Thank you manalone. you're extremely correct. I hate myself for what I have done. I shouldn't have done it. I know that now. So I guess I'll just have to wait and see what he wants to do when he starts talking to me again. But I don't think things will ever be the same. What scares me is that tonight, he asked me " who do you think does more for this relationship?" I don't know what he was meaning by that. I always thought our relationship was 50/50. So I feel like now he is questioning everything that I have ever said to him and even my feelings for him.

Yep, that's exactly what he's doing when he asks about who puts in more. He senses some form of betrayal because if the relationship was 50/50, then, in his mind, it's lopsided now. He's analyzing the situation but he's thoughtful enough to include you in it. A positive sign for you... and a very real sign of his maturity level because most people would do it (analyze) alone with confusion and then anger. And don't hate yourself or beat yourself up, just learn from it....be kind to yourself.

Correct. We weren't together those 3 years. & yes. He did ask me and when I didn't tell him at first he thought horrible things and just blew it way out of proportion thinking I had done horrible things with other people in the last 3 years. & telling him that I had kissed 10 guys. I knew he wasn't going to take it lightly, so I told him 5. But the topic came back up and from what we have gone through, I only felt right to tell him the truth now

Manalone we have always been open with each other except for this mistake that I have made. He has never gotten mad or angry with me. I've never seen that side of him. He doesn't even Sound angry now when we talk about this. He's just completely calm. So is he calm cause it hurt him that bad? Or did it not really hurt him that bad and he just wants me to feel bad?

No, he's calm about because that's who he is...you've said so. You've never seen him angry. You need to remember, he's seen enough anger when he saw his parents fight all the time. I don't think he wants you to feel bad because you've been extremely sorry and I know you've apologised. Just a heads up too, a successful relationship has no secrets, past or present...none...and if you say you've always been open to each other??

The bottom line is that you lied...you felt bad and came clean which may carry some weight with him, but trust is nearly impossible to recover once its been broken....you cant base anything off of a lie. Btw..thats the most 4th grade thing ive ever heard of..hiw many boys you kissed while you were single shouldnt be a concern for either of you..its just a means for hurt/ hard feelings..

So now I ask. What if he texts me and he still has no clue on what to do? & he still doesn't know how he feels about the whole situation? How do I approach that?