Second time around

Ok so first time here but I need an outlet before I explode. I was married to my current husband 26 years ago, after 5 years of verbal abuse and coming close to physical several times I left. We both drank alot I wanted us to quit. I had to girls from a previous marriage one was only 6 months old when we met. He told me he deserved to drink when he was home as he worked offshore and was gone for long periods. Any way I left because he would come home get drunk and then go around to neighbors and question them on who had been out our house while he was gone and then accuse me of having affairs, blowing all his money, (he did not want me to work) I tried to go to school so I could get a job and help out and he made me quit by going to the school and causing problems. I even got prego while we were married and had a miscarriage and he told me he was sterile and could not have kids so this was his proof I was fooling around and even called his entire family to tell them about it. So for 2 years he would call or just show up when he was not offshore and try to get me back but he was still drinking. I met a man and we moved in together and he would still call at like 2 and 3 in the morning to talk. I kept in contact with him because my daughters thought of him as dad. Well he finally got remarried and after a year announced they were having a child. Yeah floored me. Not one mention of him being sterile. Once that child was born he called and told me never to contact him again as my daughters were not his and he had a son of his own now. for 8 years we did not talk or even know where each other was. I left the man I was living with to go live near my mother and help take care of her and my daughters asked to contact their ex-stepfather so we did. he came for a visit and I told him I had not had a drink since we split up and there would be no drinking at all and he agreed. I felt more in love with him then ever and never really stopped loving him. he moved with us and after a year we got remarried. things were great except he catered to and defended his exwife using the excuse of his son and still partially supported her even though she had a man living with her. He was always good with kids but when I got the chance to see him with his son for the first time he seemed angry with him and was way to hard on him for normal kid stuff but it was his son, after 1 year back together we got remarried and bought a house and all seemed great. We were expecting our first grand child and even said we would end up raising him. My husband went out and bought everything we needed for a new baby. When the baby was about 6 months old I went in to get him something out of his briefcase that he told me to get and where it was. Just as I opened the zipper and looked in he came flying in the room and tried to stop me but it was to late. I found about 5 rubbers. I was hurt angry and upset. I went outside so the baby and my daughter would not hear us and he first said he did not use them, he got them and thought about it but did not. Then when he saw I was still very upset and angry he did what they all do, he turned it on me, it was my fault, we did not have sex as much as we used to. He blamed the baby, he had been drinking again, he is one of those that cannot have one drink, he drinks like it is water in the desert and does not stop till he passes out or falls down and then he wants to fight. I will not have sex with someone who has been drinking. We tried to go on and I tried to make my self believe him that he did not cheat. I know when he is gone he drinks. Then the weight started, just a few pounds at first but more and more. He started doing less and expecting more. He was always very loving and gave alot of attention to the baby. We moved at my urging as I wanted away from the people he drank with. Things got worse, his son came to live with us and he started treating the now 4 year old like he first did his son and treatedhis son like an angel and if I corrected him he got on to me like I was a kid and would raise his voice at me and make comments like my precious angel refering to the baby. His son would defy me not matter what and he would defend him, if I told him his son hit me he would reply with if I talked to him that way he would have hit me. If I punished his son for bad grades he would tell me it was stupid in front of the kids and remove the punishment. The little one how ever he would say lied about everything even if his son was caught doing it. Sex at this point had become non existant. Hubby now is on 9 medications for health issues related to his weight. He refused to lose wieght or even try. He does nothing when he is home, I do all repairs in the house, the yard everything. He now openly criticizes the little one saying he is turning gay and is a sissy and a baby. This pushes me and the little one closer. He is now bowing up to me and pushes me with his big belly, has told me to back up or he will hit me. In front of the kids he started an argument with me and got up and belly pushed me hard that I almost fell over and pull a muscle in my groin trying to stay on my feet and told me I better leave the room before he knocks me out. I called my daughter to come get the little one and I went to the ER. The next day when we discussed where I had gone he told me that it was my fault I should not have disagreed with him. He now works in the states so we moved to be closer to his work. I have my room, he has his. He goes to work 9-5 and the rest of the time he sits in his recliner and naps and watches the TV on his stuff. If we go in the room he gets angry and threatens to beat the boy if he makes a sound. his son went back to his moms because she lets him live like he is 21 at 13. the little one is now 8 and still with us, we are mom and dad. My husband will do nothing with him, things he does with his son he will not do with the little one. The little one has aspergers but high functioning yet he threatens to punch him in the gut if he leans forward when he runs. Calls him a baby and a girl for being sensitive. Weight is now over 300 and he still eats like he is starving and the little one trying to bond with him is doing the same and even said he is trying to be just like dad. I have been ordered not to buy one thing for the little one unless it is birthday or christmas, well let me rephrase that "not one penny more of his money is to be spent on him unless it is birthday or christmas" he does not interact with the boy at all. When we go to someones house with kids he will get on the floor and play with them, shows interest in all they do and talks to them and plays the same games with them that our boy begs him to play. I do not work, we both agree tha with his work and the boy in school it would be to hard to get away if we had to work around both schedules and the boy has health problems so it is to hard with me having to take off everytime. We tried to have sex once and all he wanted was oral. The next time we tried it was so great with all the belching and farting and complaining about his knees and back. His snoring keeps me from sleeping in the same room and the fact that he spreads out and has hit me in his sleep flopping his arms out. We opened a temporary savings when we moved here tilll we could pick a bank. We get royality checks which are very small from an inheritance of his. I put those checks in this savings and he kind of forgot about it and I use this money for his birthday, christmas house remodel stuff. When his mother passed away and we went to the funeral he shut me out and I was not invited to anything except the actual funeral. If I got me and the boy dressed to go with him I had to sit back away from the rest and the boy was told to go find a corner to play onhis Ipad while the other kids joined in and talked to and interacted with them. We were made to feel really unwanted. One of his brothers brought up the royality checks and he acted like he did not know they were coming in even though every month I would tell him how much they were. So in front of everyone his brother belittle me stating I have no money it is all my husbands money and I have no say what it is used for. My husband just grinned and chuckled at this. Then he started getting angry about where the money was and I told him. He demanded to see the records of the deposits and have total access to the money, which he always had he just forgot. His brothers after 2 years still bring it up all the time and push him to stand up and be a man and demand i give him HIS money I have no right to any of his money. He also discussed with his brothers and their wives while I was not around about our sex life or lack there of. He called me yesterday to inform me that he went by the bank and asked for a new password and got the balance and said by his calculations there should be way more money in there than what is and what do I have to say for myself and where is all his money. He uses no common sense, he listens to nothing I say cause when he gets a gift and asks where did I get the money cause he did not see a charge in our checking account I tell him I took it out of the other savings, and this christmas we went to disney and I took our spending cash out of there and told him this. I feel as if he is accusing me of something. Last year he called an attorney and was going to file for a divorce because he feels I am staying with him to use him for support. If I say I want to go to school being as I have not worked in 10 years he starts going through my desk and stuff thinking I am leaving him and that is why I want a job. I do not know how much more I can take. Anything and everything is my fault. I have no memory and he remembers every detail, so he says and if I prove him wrong he bows up at me and makes bad comments about the boy.He has even started to check up on me when I go to scouting meetings and has sat down the road and watched me all day to see where I go and what I do. He even complains about my cooking and nothing is good anymore and he hates what I fix where he used to brag about my cooking and how good it was. He had a pot luck at work and I offered to fix something and he said no they wanted edible stuff. I think he is trying to drive me away because the attorney told him that with me not working all these years and having a special needs child that we have custody of he would have to pay me allimony and child support forever so it is cheaper for him to stay but if I leave him then I get nothing. what do I do?