My self-conflicted relationships

Ok so here I am, asking for help through an online community, because I really don't think that anybody understands me... or at least I am not willing to open up to anybody since I have trust problems and have been back stabbed too many times in the past for me not to learn from that. I know my English isn't that great but I'll try to express what I am going through. I am a 19 year old guy, I'm the single child of my parent, they are very caring (too much I would say), and this is how I feel, I think I have had enough of them being there for whatever I do, I still live with them but that doesn't mean they have to treat me like some 13 year old that has no idea what he's doing, I feel constantly lonely and sad, and each time I try to make some changes in my life in order to make myself feel better I end up either screwing it up or getting upset because of others, there is a ton of things that bothers me, my father says he wants me to consider him as a friend and says I should not be afraid of him, and I try to do some effort into doing just that, but when I do anything wrong he starts treating me like some dog shouting and screaming at me telling me to shut my mouth and not to answer him which probably means he wants to be submissive and therefor wants me to be scared of him, I would gladly run off and live on my own, problem is I don't have any money and where I live it's hard to get a job, pay your rent, pay your education, have real friends etc. Another thing is that I do have friends (not a lot of them) but something is stopping me from going to them and asking them for help... And also I suck with talking to people and meeting new ones, I have spent most of my life just alone or with the people I knew or i was submitted to know and never really went out there and tried to meet anybody, which leads me to say... I am kind of sad because I have had no love life over the past few years, every single relationship I was trying to build either I wanted it or not has been messed up by my lack of communication, I find it easier to text people and write down what I think than saying it. I would even go and consider myself as desperate for love... or at least true friendship with the opposite sex, I guess there's a lot more to say but this is just what I had in mind at the moment. A few things about myself and my hobbies: I love music and technology, in fact I'm a guitarist and I am studying computer science in university, I am shy... but less than I was a few month ago, and i don't know what else to say. Please I am asking for help if anybody has some tip of solid rock advice and none of the bullshit you hear everyday, just be detailed if you want.

I used to have a job in summer but i quit because I had to go to university, now I am doing nothing in the free time I have since I also have no university till next month, plus I'm not doing so well with my studies my grades aren't that great.