How do I deal...

I have been with my boyfriend for almost seven and a half years, and this past August 2013 he made it perfectly clear with me that he is no longer "in love" with me and hasn't been for three years. He said then that he hasn't been happy in our relationship for a long time now due to my overwhelming problems, issues, smoking, medical history, etc. He also tells me today, that the reason he has not even asked me for sex since he returned from a month away over the holidays b/c the spark and passion just isn't there anymore, when I believe his friends and family has seriously turned him away from me for the aforementioned issues. The real problem is that we are kind of "stuck together," for I am and have been unemployed for a long while, have no real income, and have no other place to go, other than with him, and in my heart and in my answered prayers, he is the only man I should fight to stay with. He doesn't feel the same obviously, and I don't know how to deal. I'm looking to get some objective/outsider counseling, and he has agreed, but not for the same reasons I am looking into some help, for we don't see eye-to-eye a lot of the time and continue to argue most of the time. I know it sounds like to all of you that I need to go, but the options are not out there, until another man comes into my life to so-call "save me." My current boyfriend did that for me seven and a half years ago from an abusive relationship at the time after just meeting him two weeks earlier, God bless his heart. He is a true benevolent kind of man, for not just so-called “kicking me to the curb,” as all his friends and family has told him to do, and I truly appreciate how hard he works almost every day of the week, just to keep us afloat, for I have endless problems finding and holding down a job, by no real fault of my own. I also have Muscular Dystrophy and Fibromyalgia, am on high amounts of narcotics to live with the pain of the disease, am trying to quit smoking, and have no income to my name. He helps me take care of the living expenses of Doctor Visits, numerous credit card debt, etc. by doing everything he can almost every day of the week, but I have no where I could go. I refuse to go back to where I grew up b/c, sadly enough; I relate the place with a lot of pain and struggling, depressive households, and where I just couldn’t deal with being alongside the rest of that part of my family. Plus, all of my distant friends are here where we reside and all of our friends are of the same group and have been even before we started dating seven plus years ago. I love where we live and can’t imagine another place I’d rather be for the time being. I do have family I could go live with in Nashville, but I’m not ready for that type of change. In my heart I know we could work this out, but my boyfriend seems to have already given up, for all I can get out of him is an “I’ll try.” I’m also in the process of applying for Medicaid and Social Security Disability, for I truly need it, with no income to my name, and no job, and having problems even holding down a job due to my Disability/Disease. Times are really tough on my side of the relationship, for I have NOTHING without him in my life, but I can’t “force” the man to be “in love” with me again. What do I do in my situation? Basically, at some point, from his point of view, the relationship is over, more future trips I’ll be left out of, which will absolutely “kill me” and hurt me more than I can imagine, for just being apart over the holidays was just about as unbearable as it was, and even though I thought it would help make the distance grow fonder, I feel as if it did just the opposite. When I thought we could have a clean slate when he returned, it seems as if being with his family and old friends just turned him further away from me and an “us.” Again, why he hasn’t even asked for or initiated sex at all. Again, he says the passion and spark has left him, when I am an attractive lady, I would like to say sexy and beautiful – this is based on what others say and I am confident to know that I am, being a former model and cheerleader. I’m not ugly or not “wanted,” by any meaning of the words. I just don’t know how to deal with this seven and a half year later relationship, when I’ve prayed so hard, and been told by my Heavenly Father, that this isn’t the end of the road for “us,” and way beyond what I could even fathom, but am I just kidding myself in the meantime. For, I love him with all of my heart, but I feel so “unwanted” and just kept out of “necessity” and “no choice.” I don’t want to remain just a chain that can’t be unwound to him. I don’t want to continue to be a bounded part of him, holding him back from his wants, desires, and hopes for his future b/c his body clock is winding out as well as mine – him almost 44, me almost 35. God please help us; please make my dreams come true; please help me stop crying all of the time. What do I do everyone? How can I communicate better, how do I make this work, how do I move on, if I must?

You have a lot of weight on your shoulders with these problems. Most of them is because you have no independence. Get an income... Apply for SSD. Have your own money etc, and start saving. Your man is reaching mid-life crisis mode. He probably don't mean to hurt you but any decision he makes that don't include you... Will hurt. Together that long and not married, going thru all problems, he knows he could walk away but he loves/cares about you enough that he is still there. Have a talk with him and ask him probing questions, find out what is needed to make you two happy again. In the mean time you have to figure something out to gain more independence, talk to your doctors, Medicaid, Social Security on a regular basis. Make sure they are processing you as fast as they can, and have your doctors offices assist in getting your applications expedited. For now, this is the best you can do... Keep your head up, and think of all your happy times with him, and just be positive about the road ahead. We become our own worse. Enemies crying and sitting depressed, keep praying and lift your spirits! Hugs!

hi dear,sorry to hear about your troubles.as i can relate to them.years ago i was going though sickness.i was depress,no money.it,s hard.some people will walk you though it.others will slowly move away,are make you fill unwanted.it,s hardly a anwser for this.but as for your ssdi.make sure you tell them you can,t do nothing.if not they say your not diabled ok.try to keep your sprit up.when the time comes you try to find a new way of life.but never give up on your self.he wants a change,but is not man enough to say so.