Stay with him or not

I have been married 18 years together 22 we have 3 teenage kids two ready to leave in september to uni. I have been feeling despair lately and so much so that I got a knife and pressed it into my wrists because I hate my life life itself and I hate me. my husband and i havent been out since before xmas four weeks ago and he as had no money since december 24th from work. He gets £1900 a month after tax I get £140 a week from child benefit and tax credits. He says its not enough for a family of five. He borrowed £20 from our son because we both dont have any money until I get child benefit on tuesday of £33 I feel we are bad parents and let our kids down taking from them and feel so ashamed I dont think my husband is bothered at all and will forge to repay the money to our som so I will end up repaying it. The stress of the debts we have and not going out for so long is taking its toll on me. He is with a debt management scheme but hasnt paid it gor two months now and I am in one but haven't paid anything because I have been using the money to pay for food to get by. I feel I want to end my marriage and feel its my husbands fault the mess we are in. He took a new job last may for better money so I thought things would be better but they are the same as before and he said things would be better but they arent. Will I be better leaving him and getting a life away from him is he no good for me I feel I was destined for a crap life but is it crap because of the man I married?

I feel that you married your husband for a reason and you took a commitment to spend the rest of your life with him no matter how hard times get. I think you should have a serious talk with him, and explain how you feel and if he won't change then you should take the steps you feel you need to do...Marriage is tough no one ever said it was easy I think you should try your hardest before you ever give up on a marriage, especially when children are involved.