He cheated, I'm cheating and we are engaged

We have been together for 2 years. 23.12.2013 he proposed marriage, saying he loves me more than anything and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Few weeks after I have returned to where I am studying at the moment (not my home country), I was looking for wedding dresses online. I am using his computer (mine broke a while before I went to study abroad), and a window popped up when I entered a wedding boutique site - i didn't look what it was so I just pressed ok. His old outlook opened. I am not the type to go digging for things but curiosity took over. Up until 4 months into our relationship, he was going for lunch and coffee with his ex, and his last e-mail to her was: "my new girlfriend is great, but deep down inside it is you I wish I was with". Well, I felt drenched, and I told him what I saw - without confrontation or blaming him for anything. He said it didn't mean anything, that it was the first time he got dumped by anyone and he was just fishing for his ex's attention cause he wanted to hear a "sorry". He added: "I hope you don't have the impression I was cheating on you". After he said that, that was exactly my impression. So, I am miles way from him and there is no possibility to resolve this face to face (besides skype of course). And well I decide to put it on the back shelf of my brain, try to forget. A few weeks later I meet a guy at work. 4 days later I slept with him. We are still sleeping, and the big problem is, he's developing feelings for me. Whereas I just hate myself. And I am severely disappointed by my fiancé. I am in a very dark place right now and I don't know how to get out. Words of wisdom anyone?

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. Do What your mind says this time...

Maybe you should just let the story kinda end. It doesn't matter if your ex cheated or not...you are, and that should tell you to forget the wedding. You can't blame you finance for your actions, we are all responsible for our own. You may be severely disappointed with him but what about yourself?

My cheating isn't a concious revenge. I am very disappointed with myself. I suffer severe anxiety attacks and can hardly sleep or eat. Everything was perfect, before I dug into his e-mail. I want to save that relationship and I want to stop what I'm doing. I wanted to share and the responses I read above make me feel... Worse. I'll try to find how to remove this topic now. Don't even know what kind of support I was looking for.

Read again. Its not revenge. It happened for reasons even I don't know. The support I guess I was looking for was that maybe somebody went through something similar and had a coping technique. I did not expect this to just put more guilt on me than I'm already carrying.

i've been through something similar like this and i know you start to hate yourself but listen to me you will get through this he loves you and you love him that guy you met is a ass hole and he doesn't deserve to even look at a girl like you i know you had to be hurt when he said that in the email but if he was with her he just remembered all the good times and you want them back but he gets over it eventually if you really love him then you will tell him about it and if he really loves you he will take it in maybe get mad and leave but he will come back if he loves you and when you two get back together you have to set boundaries like he has to block communication from his ex and you need to never talk to that guy again i believe you two can get through it you just need to try and no more cheating and plus no one has any room to bash on her because she was cheating you don't know how hurt she was i'm not saying it was the right thing to do its just so like other people to be complete douches this is to help her not to bash her oh i forgot something and you have to earn his trust back make him trust you so he doesn't think you will cheat if you go on a road trip with friends or traveling somewhere else if your relationship is not built on god and trust then its going to come crumbling down