Need some advice! Please help!

I am a mother of two young boys, ages six and four, I have been with my man for seven years and left him already once because of things he has done! Things such as lying, not helping out, ignoring responsibilities and trying to control my life! My problem is...I went back to him! He is the father of my two children and I think I live him, but over the last seven years he has lied to me in several accounts about things such as places he goes, when he is working, past experiences, and things he said or done! He does not do much around the house, mainly because he is toe and tired or had a long day at work! I am I. Charge of everything, I cook every meal, even if I work and he doesn't, I do all the house chores, I pay all the bills and make all the bill paying arrangements, I typically, at least 85% of the time, do all the grocery shopping y myself with my two boys, I work about 40hrs a week, take my children to al of their school as well as extracurricular activities, by myself and I do all the errand running for anything and everything we need! Typically a day the life of the Man U am with involves waking up going to work, calling me to make him a lunch and coming to get it, then going back to work and napping at least once a day in the truck between jobs, then coming home and spending about a half an hour with our joys before rushing that I bed so he can watch a show or play a game and relax! I am at my wits end and don't know what to do! All I ever get is my families biased and judgemental opinions! I need real advice! He has lied to me and checks my email, messages, phone calls, Facebook, etc constantly, he won't let me hang out with certain friends because he thinks they are trouble, and he sometimes forces me to do thing sexually that I don't agree with! On top of it all he ignores the children about 75% of the time and has mood swings and throws gussy fits if I tell him something he doesn't like! Please someone give me some good non bias advice! Should I stay or should I go??? Do I stay for the kids?? My oldest says he would be happier if I wasn't with his daddy! Please what to do? I love him, but I don't like him and I don't know if we can get past all this! If he won't change and only makes minimal attempts, what should I do??? Please only serious inquiries! I am already confused and don't know what to do! Any one with advice, please send it!! Should I stay? Or should I go??

Sweehty, while you stay with this man you will enable him to continue to control you. He will continue to make your life a misery and you will continue to be a slave to him in everything. Yours is not a relationship. Yours has become a drudgery which has driven you to the wall. Get out now and take your kids with you. Find someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Your kids can tell if you're unhappy...it affects them the most. So if you make a positive move to find your happiness, then they will benefit too. And it's ok, we can love someone but we can dislike them intensely as well and there are times when we need to leave them behind and move on with our lives to enable ourselves to be find the respect and happiness we deserve.

Sounds like your man is a lazy and selfish ass, however what u have described is a common theme for alot of men in long term relationships! I would agree with the other opinion however the key here is that you still love him. I find it amazing he can pop home to collect his lunch but would prefer a nice snooze rather than get home n help out for an hour or 2 between jobs! Says it all! But if u do love him then b4 u leave him fully and forever why not try a little shock and awe tactics! Withhold sex full stop until he starts pulling his weight! Try that for a few months, failing that then split up with him for at least 3 months - but dont tell him you may come back, make him know its for good - see if he changes when u come back after those little shocks ! Still no results, no respect or even appreciation then unfortunately its time to definately leave 4 good good luck

Hello SWEEHTY, re-read your post chick as if someone else has sent it. What do YOU think? What would you tell that lovely person to do? Read it again? Good. You don't sound like you are in love with him. It is perfectly possible to love someone but not be in love with them. It is perfectly possible to create habits in a relationship. Presumably before you had children you worked and did everything in the house while he sat around doing nothing. That's the mistake most women make they want to look after their man, all well and good BUT it HAS to be reciprocated which it is not in your relationship. His controlling is because, and I'm sorry to say, is that he is doing those things to you only you are so lovely and trusting you are letting him pile all this rubbish on to you. It's called abuse my love and no one should ever put up with that. By going back to him after you left the first time you unfortunately sent him the wrong message and now you have given him license to treat you exactly how he pleases and he does as everything, if you think about it is on his terms. OK so now we've established that what do you do? Only you can answer that. Have some pride and dignity with yourself. Would you like it if your boys treated their partners like that? Would you like it if your mother/sister/aunt/niece/best friend etc were treated this way? Because trust me your boys are learning that all women are good for are serving them as they don't see the lazy oik doing anything. Where is this relationship going? My point being he was probably always like this you are falling out of love with him bit by bit and you are nearly there. Nearly at the bye, bye I'm offski stage. If you decide you're leaving don't have some big heart to heart with him hoping he's going to beg you to stay as he doesn't really give a stuff so it really isn't going to happen, besides you did this before and went back and he'll see it as crawling back. If/when you leave it has to be final, no going back, new life, new start. Just go he doesn't deserve an explanation, nothing but you do need to make a plan and stick to it. He sounds like a bully. He's a truck driver you say? OK in one day you can move out if that's what you choose to do. Remember this is YOUR life. YOU and YOUR children MUST come first. There is life after leaving him you know. Look at it this way. You are already doing it all anyway but without the mill stone around your neck. Good luck with everything.

I do not think it is helping the boys also. You are tugging along the entire load and what is he contributing? Forget about work and responsibilities, he is not even contributing emotionally! You are with him for the boys...but he ignores them 75% of the time, does not do anything for the kids....what example is he setting for the kids? Tomorrow when they grow up they will feel thats how fathers are supposed to be. Is that what you want them to grow up and become? I would suggest you make a list of the chores he has to do and you have to do. Explain to him that you are not able to pull all the work. If he loves you he will comply. If he doesn't, you have your answer.

Whilst I agree with the majority of what the other ppl who have taken time to offer u advice have said, and we can all agree that her man sounds like a proper reptile! We can't presume that she doesn't love him and tell her that when she has actually stated she loves him! We can only go off what she has wrote, they have been together 7 years and had 2 children together - therefor surely this man did have something to bring to the relationship ! So this and the fact she states she stil loves him means to me that perhaps this is a solvable problem - I just think she needs to commit to repairing their relationship fully for a period of 10 months, using some tactics I suggested in my earlier (un named) post - if that fails at least she can get rid of the jerk knowin she did absolutely everything she could - and you never know it could work out, in short, if you love him then commit to sorting him out 1st - if that fails then get rid of him forever, hope you found the advice of all parties useful