Should I or shouldn't I

since my divorce about 13 years ago, i have not dated. recently i have reconnected with two past lovers, R and O. R is in a failing marriage and she and I talk daily on the phone, but it could be a year before she is able to leave her husband. O is recently widowed and will be in my area for a weekend soon. R says a fling is ok with O, but I feel somewhat guilty, even though my relationship with R may never materialize. Do I spend a wild weekend with O, with R's ok? Or do I sweat out waiting for R, no matter how uncertain our future may be?

I seriously do not understand why you felt the need to tell both of them about each other. What were you trying to do? Wreck any chance of happiness for 3 people? DO NOT do any of it. You may live to regret it... However you sound like you're more into R than O. I don't know any woman who would say it's OK to have sex with another and that they understand unless they weren't that into you in the first place. Do you actually know where you stand with either of them or are you just guessing from your re-connection conversation? See I think you need to find out properly how they feel before you make a decision as I think you want a bit of nooky! Not long term repercussions!

thanks for the response. having a history with these ladies dating back to the mid 70s when things were a bit more loose and free, i probably fooled around a bit during relationships. therefore, upon reuniting with these women, i wanted to go in honestly, with no secrets. are you saying stay clear of both? R acknowledges that her marriage precludes her from chiming in on who i should sleep with at this point [i argue that, if she was not wed, how would she feel - she countered that we have not really reached the point in this reunion for her to steer me away from other women - hence her approval]. O seems really hot for my bones knowing that my heart is more with team-R. Yes, the chance for \"nooky\" is a big draw, and i dont want long term repercussions. I have found that honesty and openness may be a bitch. Thanks for your opinion, even though you help muddy the mississippi a bit more.

i apologize for two postings of this question. I did not know if it is a relationship or sexual problem.