My boss

I have worked at my place of employment for 3 and 1/2 years now. My boss went through a divorce over the summer after being with his wife for 30 years. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. My boss has taken an interest in me, almost immediately after his wife left him. Slowly bit surely he has come between me and boyfriend and although we are still together, my boss does not know that. I want to get a new job and tell my boss im moving or something, but the thing is he also has cancer, and says he wont go to his treatments if I were to leave. He also has threatened to kill himself multiple times. I dont want that weight on my shoulder. He is the type of person who will say dome extremely hurtful things if I were to try to change anything. I know I dug myself into a hole, but I dont know the route to take out of it.

Hey Dodge - Firstly your boss is not your problem no matter what has happened or not happened. He controls his actions not you. He is not your responsibility. The only person you are responsible for is yourself and no one else. This is called blackmail. The only way out of this situation is to tell your bf what is going on as you will need support while you find another job. It is both cruel and unfair what your boss is doing as I can tell it's crucifying you. When marriages break up especially a long one like his it has to go through a grieving process and I think he's using you as a prop. That is bang out of order! Does he have a boss? I think it is high time you took some action and helped yourself out of this situation. Obviously I am limited in advising because of limited info but certainly if you have an HR department and he has a boss then take it further. If he owns the company you need to find another job. Please, if you are close to your bf you need to share this, this situation simply just cannot carry on.

I have to agree with Hear4U...Your boss is using blackmail. Makes me curious as to why a wife of 30 years would divorce him. You cannot be his salvation. But you DO have to be your own. Look for another job, tell your bf and keep as much distance (emotionally and physically) as possible between you and your boss. Good luck.

Thank you both for your responses. My boyfriend does know about him, just not the part that he is in love with me. I dont know why a woman of 30 years would leave. He is a good guy, he has got a good heart too. In my eyes him and I are just pretty good friends. He wants more, I dont. And I need to make that clear to him. He is the high up manager at my store, so there is nobody I can go to above him. I would have to leave, which would not be fun because finding full time jobs in my area is hard, and this is the one I have kept the longest out of all I have had. But it just seems so worth it if I get to keep my boyfriend and see my friends again.