Her uncle raped her

Hi, I suppose I have arrived at this forum for the same reason as everyone else: the need to get something off my chest. I have been dating my girlfriend for nearly 2 years and whenever we are drunk/having an argument, the same topic comes up. Her uncle sexually abused her from the age of 6 until she was around 13. I have been - and am trying to be - supportive. Only I know of what she has gone through and encouraging her to tell her mum continues to fall on deaf ears. It takes all my strength not to blurt anything out to her mum when we are together, it isn't my place to say and I don't want to hurt either of them but I can see how this is killing my girlfriend every day it continues to be a secret. She has agreed to me in the past that she would speak to a professional about it but nothing gets done. I'm at the stage now where I feel I cannot end the relationship because, like I said, she brings it up when we're arguing and I feel like I am being emotionally blackmailed. Any words of advice would be gratefully received. Thank you.

Do you mean to say that she brings up her history of being abused during arguments as an excuse for her actions, or what? A number of behaviors can be the result of having been abused, but if she refuses to get professional treatment, it seems unfair to use said abuse as an excuse for getting her way during times of conflict. Be patient and continue to urge her to seek psychological therapy. It sounds like you're doing the right things so far. Best wishes.

You're a good bf. She's lucky to have someone so supportive. But she's holding you hostage to her situation. Your relationship cannot grow or mature with her refusal to get help. Would you stay with her if she managed to talk to a therapist? I think it's time the two of you had a heart to heart. If she's unwilling to put forth an effort to get better then she will continue to use her situation as emotional blackmail. Not fair to you. Nor is it fair to her. She's jeopardizing both your futures through her fear. Offer to attend therapy sessions with her. Abuse is a valid reason for certain behaviors. But it should never be an excuse for not moving forward.