I have many friends but I feel unneeded

I'm not sure where to start and how to formulate my problem, if you'd call that a problem anyway. But I've been really depressed lately, so I want to do something about it. Pardon me, but it might get a bit long. I'm 25. I moved to another city 2 years ago and live with 3 friends now (my best friend, the other is my former high school friend who betrayed me but I figured we're all adults now, so I let us begin from scratch but we're not close anymore or anything, and the third is a girl who's been living with us for a year). My relationship with my friend has been really off lately. I'm a sociable, positive person. I always smile, I can communicate with ANYONE, I have no problem with it. But when it comes to people I'm close with, I let them see all my flaws, I guess. For instance, I might be grumpy, lazy, untalkative at all. I'm also touchy when it comes to people close to me. I like tickling, hugging, I can pinch my friend's butt. She absolutely hates touching to the point she can punch me in the face and get angry about it. Yet she of course allows her boyfriend to do it, since they sleep together. She's also the type that likes debating, discussions. I can never prove my point of view with her, because it's easier for me to walk away, because she always finds arguments/reasons to support her opinion but I lack that skill, I need time. I'm also chubby (to a reasonable point, I'm not fat), I'm also blond. So she often makes fun of that but with no ill intention, I know but it happens so often that I've become conscious of it (my brain abilities and my weight), and it saddens me. Whenever we start arguing, she'd call me an idiot and the first thing she does is she starts laughing at my words, like she's so smart and mighty and I'm the stupid one here. The girl that's been living with us for a year, is super melancholic. She used to be married but divorced because both her and her husband were incredibly passive about their relationship. She's super melancholic, even a bit suicidal, at times wise, but she also joins my friend whenever I try to stand my ground and they make fun of me. They don't mean bad, I know but it makes me feel lonely. I have a lot of friends, well, not friends but just people I communicate with but I don't needs lots of people. I need just one friend who'd be there for me, because I give my all in any relationship. But I feel lonely and unneeded. We usually chat with these two girls during work, but I decided to experiment and not message them until they do and not come up to them to talk until they initiated it, because I figured I might have been pushy. And truth be told, both of them have come up to me/messaged me like, once a day AT MOST and that's it which makes me feel incredibly sad and disillusioned. Maybe to them friendship is not the same thing it is for me. Although I do admit that my friend once said during the argument that when talking about hate or love it's difficult for us, because she apparently takes me as part of her family. But if she does, then why does she treat me like that? I'm losing self-confidence. I've never had a boyfriend. I'm not a beauty but I do have men that like me and compliment me, yet none have offered to date, NONE despite their obvious actions towards me. I also tend to attract men that are apparently in need of counseling and always try to make me pity them. I don't want that. I can be strong but I don't want to be the only one who consoles and saves others, who's gonna save me? People are always with me while I'm in good mood but when something happens, I realize that I'm alone. My parents love me, I love them a lot too, they are good people, but my dad has a big debt to return, and there are various difficult family circumstances present as well. I want to help them out with money so much but I earn so little that even if I save up a lot, it wouldn't really help them anyway compared to the amount they owe. I'm incredibly worried about them. My dad's job's also been depressing. He gets lots of pay cuts, even though he practically works 24/7. They don't earn much at all. I'm also torn between saving up to help them with the debt and saving up for my own life, like traveling and stuff. I have a lot of hobbies. I don't want to waste my youth working 24/7 and not seeing the money, yet I can't ignore my parents. My work hasn't been motivating me lately. Ever since I changed jobs, there's this feeling of uncertainty since a lot of things are changing in my company and I still have a rent to pay every month. I feel so lonely, unhappy and unneeded. I want to ask my friend if she really needs me but I can't do it. And she doesn't seem to understand that something's wrong at all. Apparently she thinks of it just as one of my stupid fits/whims - my current behavior and doesn't really care. Yet she and that divorced girl communicate ALL the time, and I can never get in-between "because I don't have experience, I don't understand". Or I'm silly, or too illusional, or in my own world again. I'm barely ever taken seriously. What's wrong with me? Am I that bad? Am I that unattractive both mentally an physically that people don't want to stay with me when learn the real me behind that always positive surface? I write stories and poems, I love classical music and languages - I have lots of hobbies. I technically have nothing in common with my friend yet we click because of some basic principles of ours, even though she doesn't share my hobby. She says I'd be better off marrying a foreigner since my mentality is too different for my country. and the thing is, I work in human resources, I recruit people. How can I understand and analyze people when I have such issues myself? I'm at a complete loss and I have no one to consult about it.

Hey Amanda - Sorry? What exactly have you got in common with this insensitive, superior than thou er...person? I think what has happened here is everything has gotten on top of you and you cannot see the wood for the trees. When you live with someone in shared housing don't you think you see their warts and all? I bet they are moody, don't look so great in the morning, are belligerent, aren't the best of company themselves at times and have other numerous faults that miff you off too... They aren't perfect either! You don't debate, not because you don't have an opinion but because what she wants to debate about just isn't that important enough for you to actually wish to form an opinion on it, that is perfectly fine and does not mean you are thick or stupid. It's just not your thing, there's plenty of people who are like that. Some people don't like being touched especially if they're the same sex and although you're just messing don't do it as it obviously makes your friend feel uncomfortable, it is totally different if it's her boyfriend as the relationship is different.As for you not having a boyfriend then look at the possibilities, nothing wrong in asking a guy if he'd like to go for a coffee! Why not try dating sites? But be careful. If they mention sex within their first conversation with you block them immediately. The best relationships are friends first. See how you go on. This will keep you occupied if anything else! These 2 girls you text and have text you back... Why can't you say what are they up to at weekend? Suggest the cinemas or something...look at what's on first...if they don't want to go go on your own, no shame in that... As for your dad his money problems cannot be solved overnight, I wouldn't expect my children to help me out if they couldn't afford it but you could offer to send little and often but you have to look after you and if that's not possible then offer your support in other ways. They would be so pleased just to hear from you so ring often. As for your job at the end of the day your job is to be 'job specific' isn't it so it's not really about your ability to analyse a person it's more to do with the right person for the right job with the right credentials that you're looking for with the company specs so please don't decry yourself there. you sound like a bright girl who is in a bit of a slump. Look at what you CAN do not what you CAN'T do and trust me you have a lot to offer. people who come across as bright and bubbly often end up the loneliest as people think they have loads of friends. What I do think you ought to do is go and do something in the evenings, one of your hobbies, get yourself out of the house... Good luck with everything!