Confused wife

My husband told me 4 years ago there was another women in his life. He told me who. He works with her. Soon after he told me he lied about the whole thing to get my attention. I have been unable to trust him ever since. I worry all the time and question everything he does. I just can't get over it. How do I move on with him? How do I know what is really the truth?

Your husband needs to realize there's other ways of getting your attention rather than stabbing you in the heart and then lying about it. Why did he need to get your attention in the first place? No wonder you can't trust him now...ask yourself if you really want/need to move on with him. If you answer yes, then you need to get him to explain everything and then learn to trust him again. Otherwise go back before 4 years ago when he really needed to get your attention and see if there's a long standing problem there which you need to acknowledge.

Suspicion is a monster and it was wrong for your husband to put it into you. Now to deal with it you will require complete transperancy for sometime. Which means if you both want to be together you should be trusting enough to hand over your phones and passwords to each other for a period of time till you get the trust back into your lives. One more thing DJGOOO the truth is he has given you 4 years after saying that which means he wants to be with you. The truth is if there was someone else then too he has chosen you over others. Why do you want to keep the monster alive? If he wanted he could have walked out in these 4 years. He didn't, so I think you should just keep telling yourself "No, I trust him."