What to do now ?

I have been with my girlfriend for over 5 years and I love her with all my heart, I am nearly 50 (just divorced) and she is nearly 40, we have a 3 year old who we adore. We were planning our holiday of a lifetime - New York, Mexico then California for 3 weeks next year, as we are using all of our savings for this I though it would be good to ask my girlfriend what she thought of getting Married in New York, she was overjoyed and cried with happyness, I spoke to her parents in private and asked for their blessing, they too were overjoyed. We planned on our return to have a big informal party on our return to celebrate our wedding and birthdays,all of our friends and family are aware. We were the happiest couple alive until ........... My girfriends parents now dissaprove of our plans and want us to have a traditional wedding in the UK with him giving his daughter away, my girlfriend doesnt want to upset her Father, it now seem that no what we do someone is going to be unhappy. What do you think ?

I personally, would go ahead with the plans to get married in New York. Can her parents not go with you so that her father is able to give her away? Maybe you could help subsidise the cost as part of your wedding budget (even if it means sacrificing some of the fancier things like expensive wedding cake). Many people choose to get married abroad, and who knows of a wedding where everyone is perfectly happy with the arrangements. Even having a wedding in the UK, you are likely to dissapoint someone by not inviting them, and this is often friends of friends / people you don't really know that well... At the end of the day, her parents should be delighted for their daughter being so happy, otherwise they are being somewhat selfish. Marriage is about the two of you, so if you really both want this, then you may well regret giving in later on in life, having not stood up to them and said that this is what you both want. I'm sure that other people will have different opinions, so it will be interesting to hear some comments from other people before making your mind up perhaps.

Come on everyone HELP !, I did expect more ( many thanks Dan)

hi, i agree you should continue with your original plans has your wife to be been married b4 if she has that means her father has had his day now its your turn and you g/f,if she hasent then thats what hes missing but its your day and it sounds lovely and romantic and he has to accept that,does your g/f agree with you or do you think she will keep her parents happy.