Not sure we have a future

I've been with my partner 18 years, married for 15 and have two children. I am now in my mid fourties, and feel that my wife and me have drifted apart, and I really dont know how to get things back on course. I have recently tried to discuss things like future plans, places we would like to visit with her and find that our aspirations are very different. I guess that these differences have ighlighted other things that suggest to me that a rift has opened like never asking me how my day has been (I always make a point of asking her and the kids when I get home). I have tried to discuss our differences but her reply is that she doesn't think we have drifted apart, or "she hasn't changed" or that I'm trying to change her. I have turned to websites such as Relate for advice, though I have stopped short of booking a session, however I know that if I suggest anything that I have read on those sites, like setting time aside for each other, that it will be dismissed. I feel that there is now quite a void in our relationship which I have started filling by persuing new hobbies and getting in contact with old friends. Our sex life is now virtually non-existant and when it does happen its 'with the lights out and lets get it over as quickly as possible'. Within myself I feel quite depressed, and right now I honestly believe that if it were not for our children, I would have left. I really do want to find a way through this, as right now I feel that I am only hanging on for the kids.

hi,i believe its your partner whos got some problems as you seem to be the one making all the effort it is a long time to be togehter and it must be hard trying to keep the fun and excitement still alive but people do somehow.is she stuck in the house most days with the kids or does she work,do you have nights out together or nights out with your mates and as for sex is it both of you wanting it over with as quick as possible or just her,she seems stuck in a rut.do you think this relationship is over or can it be worked on but both has to want it,the thing is some people will be tempted to stray and that will be it,would that bother her do you think?and does she realise how strongly you feel about this,you need to sit her down and tell her how serious it is, relate can help you or both togehter talking it thro with someone does help.good luck.

Hi I agree it sound you dont want to give up on marriage, why dont you do what me and my parnter have done, we have only been together for five years and it started to get a bit samey, so we started to caought again surise her with a mael or the pictures that will show her you still care. All the be mate!