Getting over the love of ur life

0 this is like the 4th time im putting up my problem..im sorry but i need to vent and blahtherapy gives me strength.. So i had a fling with a guy who later got married but i really really liked him..he was my ideal man..everything i wished for..but after he got married i knew it wasnt going anywhere. I knew i was spiralling into a whirlpool cos i fell in love with him and i knew i was gonna get hurt. i am going away in a couple of months and i wished we cud just spend time till then so that i hv these memories. but he said he isnt comfy and i agree..cos of his loyalty to his wife and also i wud probably reach a point of no return. I love him so much..it breaks my heart..i know its wrong..i dont want him to leave his wife or anything..i am jsut scared i wont get over him. I cud feel the physical pain wen he told me..and i cant even hate him. I never once felt so much fr my bf nd we hv bn hvin fights too from before this guy…and rather nowadays i avoid my bf becos i feel im cheating on d married guy. im very scared and afraid that i wont be able to get over him. Im 28 nd i know this is not an infatuation..he was d kind of guy i wanted to marry..so i feel the loss..i dunno how to get closure.. please help me get closure..im already on antidepressants fr years..,and this episode has worsened it.

Hello dear, I definitely understand the hurt you feel. I know how traumatizing heartbreak can be and I know the strain it brings. First and foremost, you need to accept the fact that this guy that you are in love with, is in love with someone else. He is so deeply in love with the person that he is with that he chose to marry her. Now I know he must have given you some kind of reason to fall in love with him in the first place. When I say reason, I mean to lead you on. Now you have to take blame for what you have done as well. You have been unfaithful to your boyfriend who is probably in love with you enough to marry you... You are taking his love for granted in the midst of you love triangle. If this married man had some type of feelings for you, he probably would have postponed his wedding or perhaps even delay his soon to be be wife just to see your face again. You need to accept that what you and this man had was not real and you are holding onto nothing. He knows exactly what he is doing to you as well. See, because he knows that you love him, and he knows that you wants him.... and though he has no intention on ever leaving his wife for you, he enjoys that fact that he still has you hung up on him. This is something you should ask yourself in the mean while.... If this man was worthless enough to do this to his future wife, what makes you sooo confident that he would not do it to you? Try to think of all the great things you would do for him as his girlfriend/wife and then picture the fact that he already has that, that is why he is married. My advice.... Cut off all communication with him... and if he asks why you don't talk to him anymore. Let him know that you are respectful of his marriage and wouldn't want your future husband to do to you what he is doing to his wife. Set standards for yourself love.... Do not give him so much control over your love. Your love is priceless and any man would be lucky to have it.. SO give it to the person who is giving it to you. Cry if you have to but do not drown yourself. Start dating your boyfriend again and maybe you will remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. You never know... you may have the one that is meant for you already but this married man is blurring your vision. Set him free and you will be free too. Peace and Love Lisa

Hang in there....if you loved this man there are other men just like him. You just need to find such a man who is willing to accept you. Stop thinking about him and focus on finding someone else like him.

Hi its just typical of life ain't it...... I know what it is like to have deep feeling for someone,and they are unattainable it is so so hard. But you know deep down that it is going to hurt you. If you look deeper you will see that maybe the reason you feel so deep for him is because he is not attainable, desire is left unfulfilled. If he was attainable it may not be the case. Maybe you are scared to really love someone, your attraction is to someone that can give you a small part of him , but the real stuff like commitment he gives to someone else. Think about it..... I went on a date a few months back with a guy form a dating site. We chatted for over a year and then we met. We went to the city did museum , lunch, and went to the park for a walk. while in the park he choose to tell me that he was separated, and he and his wife were still friends, he was giving out about his ex new fella. I liked him, however I knew if I go continue I will be hurt. We were sitting on a bench and I could sense he was going to kiss me. I kind of changed my position as I was not ready too. We sat in silence for a few minutes and to my right a married couple came in to the park for wedding photo's. I could not stop looking over I saw her dress it was stunning, flowers all around her. I saw a image of a women of beauty, value, virtue, he took her arm and they smiled for the camera. I knew it was a sign to me, I am sitting beside a guy right now, who was that couple, and now I am the girl who is being used to get over at his ex lady who once wore the beautiful dress. I knew I was worth more, I knew hang on there I can be her, I can be the girl who a man honors . Walk away and heal , you will meet someone in the future , this is just a glimpse of what is out there for you, it is up to you to grab for it.