Biggest mistake

When I was pregnant with my son, I dumped his father and got with his uncle. Our son is fixing to be 2 and we been wanting to work things out. He is supposed to go to jail for 6-18 months the month after our son's bday. I told him last night I would be by him as a friend and he got upset I wasn't going to be his gf while he was in jail after telling me his last gf dumped him 3 days ago. I haven't tried dating anyone in 6 months so far trying to focus only on him. He got really stressed last night and didn't want to talk to me at all and that was the issue we had the first time we tried dating which is why I told him maybe we still wasn't ready to try again yet. I do love him and i do want to be with him I am just afraid of us hurting each other again. Also kinda want a checklist to go by to see what needs to be in place to be ready to try again both of us don't trust each other so that is one thing I know has to change. Any thoughts or advice would be helpful, i beat myself all the time blaming myself foor my actions and his since we met.

no he is his father and he is going to jail for weed and growing weed. also he was accussed of raping a 14 yr old.

You're correct..no trust equals no relationship. You need to determine if this man is the one for you. You also need to determine if this man, although your son's father, is the right role model for your him. It doesn't matter if you're his Gf or friend while he's locked down, he needs to understand that if you do this, then you've made a commitment to him. It's a start to working things out. You're standing by him. If you don't want to hurt him, then you need to determine if he feels the same way about you. If he doesn't, then your wasting your time. The fact that he doesn't want to talk to you after becoming upset, should give you an indication just how much he wants to communicate with you to help sort the issue. But ask yourself first, if he knows how to. If he only wants you to be his Gf because his last one dumped him 3 days prior, then it should tell you where he's coming from. You need to realize that while you continue to blame yourself for your past actions, you'll never be able to learn from them and be able to move on from them. And, his past actions are HIS, not yours. The only checklist you need is to follow your gut feeling concerning this man. Ask yourself if he can make you and your son happy and secure in the future. Will your relationship have trust, love and respect flowing both ways?

I talked to the 14 yr old and she says he raped her I asked her to talk to me about it since I was a victim as well knew it would help and told her some of my sexual abuse. Her story had a lot of holes in it and I just hope he doesn't get charged with what he didn't do. Sorry didn't log in before responding.