Sex or comparability and future

Okay recently I broke up with a guy from a 7 mo relationship. We had no future I want to get married he doest and thats just the start. But the sex was amazing! I am now dating a guy who is perfect for me in all practical ways but I am not really sexually attracted the way i have been in past relationships i think i always based on looks before an this time its more on personality. He is a great guy has all the same goals as me and would be a wonderful husband but the sex is lacking he is not very experienced i guess but he cant get me to the finnish line so to speak. But how sad is it to break up with someone over sex. Then again I love sex twice a day everyday ( yes i am grown woman in my 30s and still need it a lot) knowing that about myself i feel like I am settling. Not sure what to do neef help.

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Hi I think you are comparing the two guys which is not fair on the guy you are with now..... How would you feel if he was writing a post comparing you in such a shallow way. You have just zoned into the one thing that is 'wrong' or does not meet your standard!! I kind of do not see what the problem is here at all...... He sounds awesome...... and I think you are being very hard on your fella. This is something that you can work on with him..... and should be enjoying together..... and sex sometimes is not about a one sided selfish end result either..... Maybe you should stop this thinking because he may pick up on it and it will cause negative effects on him and then you will have a problem if he senses pressure from you... Why don't you just enjoy getting to know this person and having fun, other than the bedroom......... both of you will find your unique intimate selves, when you love the other person, and show compassion, to each other , slow down you may have to explore somewhere you never did with this new guy..... isn't that exciting..... Accept that people are not boxes to be ticked off a list.....

Okay, how exactly would I teach this person to turn me on, i dont find him sexuality attractive so yes maybe that is shallow but telling me it is shallow dosent help. Also he gets embarrassed talking about sex at 30 he wont even talk about positions where do expect me to take that and exactly how long shod I go without an orgasm to make me just a lil less selfish. Everyone compares relationships i am simply saying going from the best sex of your life to very boring sex that is awkward and uncomfortable is not easy nor a no brainer.

Okay point taken lol

I see I hear your frustration !!! Now that you mention you are not attracted to him well there is your answer..... maybe he picks up on that too... I think if this guy and you don't start working on your sexual life.... you will have to end it.... because I see you having an affair. Are you dating long? It could be just too early too tell yet.... it may well improve..... I think you are going to have to discuss this with him.... But your sexual needs do not have to be completely his job either.... if you are not sexually compatible then you got to open your mind regarding how you orgasm twice a day...... toys etc..... It is important in a relationship..... and sex more about giving than receiving.... I think this is a big part of you so only you know what works and what does not ..... but when you are talking to him remember it is a big part of him too.... so get creative about it..... be open to him more and let go of your last relationship..... either you are in or out..... If things don't work out well at least you explored.....

Its only been about two.months its hard because i love being around him we laugh a lot and have all the same goals. But when the lights go out he just becomes this guy who has no clue how to get me turned on. He moves to fast like an inpatient child like ill change my mind an run lol i want to give it my best try just dont know how to get him to open up. Honestly i have the fear of having an affair also in my hrad i think i couldn't do that to anyone but I am not sure. My sex life has always been a big deal

Right I am seeing what is happening here he has little experience.... and it is making you not attracted to him? You are going to have to talk to him..... he should be more tuned into you.... I am sure there are some videos out there that you can watch ..... for him to relax..... Have you tried massage...... oils, ylang ylang and lemongrass are good, and candles...... bring some food in too, and play...... try not to make it too much about the intercourse.... Maybe he never had a girl who cared enough to want a healthy sexual life....... sounds like he may have been rejected before that may explain the frantics..... This relationship may seem demanding compared to the last one... this is about giving more than receiving..... but isn't that the beauty of it..... you get to bring him alive.....its the good stuff!!!! don't miss it.... See it as a privilege...... If it not your thing then I think you should move on...

Actually you couldn't be more wrong i am 30 have been with 2 men i know jow to commit was married at 18 have three kids and he passed away two years ago so before you act like I dont know what a marriage is check your facts. I am sorry but a strong healthy sex life kept me and my husband very very close for 10 years the last relationship i had was purely sex yes but that does not define me. And I believe if we cant work thu our problems in the bedroom what other problems will we not be able to fix. I thought this was for help not to be criticized.... i am asking for insight on how to talk to him or how to work thru our differences in the bedroom without hurting him.

Mountain, that is good advice thank you. I do think its the inexperience that bothers me. Maybe if we go to the toy box we have here I can see what he would be willing to try. Ill check into videos or books on the topic wr could read together. I guess if he wants to make it work like i do then maybe he will be open.

Now you are talking....... This is a new experience for both of you.... so embrace it...... Tracy Cox is a sex research expert and does videos on sex in relationships, think she owns the chain of sex shops.... I think she may lead you to the right direction. I think it is healthy too many people have sexual hangups in the world.... I think it is great that you are investing time in this with this new person.... good for you!!! Enjoy....

Regina you are taking what i said and twisting it. Yes i do think compatibility in our bedroom is important, no its not the entire picture i didnt say it was. However if we cant find away for both of us to be happy in our sex life that can speak volumes on how we communicate in other areas. Sex is important for whatever reason you seem to belive its not. For the record i took the advice of mountain and talked to him their are several things he would like to try and we have plans to go to the toy shop tonight. He is very excited an in no way feels bad infact he was very pleased by the suggestion so big thanks to MOUNTAIN FOR HER HELP.