Housewife and lonely

Ok where to start here, I've always been a socially active person. Recently I met a new partner and moved to a new area. I've been here a few months now and don't have any contacts around the area apart from my partners parents. I'm happy in the area and love my partner but the days are so long. My my partner works away, when he's home we do everything together and all is well. When he returns to work however I sit vegetating on the sofa feeling in a rut. My partner has some insecurities due to his ex cheating so I don't have social media accounts and without any social interaction I feel like I'm going crazy. I find myself jealous of his work time because he gets to interact with others whilst I don't.

Go out, find neighbours. Shopping? Can meet some people there to start with? Try working. If you are good at cooking, may be try taking some cooking classes? If not join some classes? Does he insist you shouldn't meet people too?

My partner is insecure about me socializing incase the situation leads to over familiarity with a member of the opposite sex. :-( I know how it reads, and probably hence why I feel so low. But I love him and I think if it reassures him that he can feel secure then it's worth it? Connie x

Connie, I guess my guess is right. You are heading for an emotionally abusive relationship. It can't be changed. If you stay with him for love, you will find yourself in a house jail. It will eventually make you mental. There are only 2 ways in front of you. 1. Force him to change his views on socializing 2. Leave him and move on. If you try to force him to change, it may or may not work depending on how deep his issue is. I also doubt if this is due to his ex cheating. It could be ingrained in him for a long long time. Do be careful.

This is very, very unhealthy. It\'s not fair of him to shut down your life based on his jealousy. \"Jealousy is just your own insecurities wearing an ugly mask.\" That is true. Part of being in a relationship is trusting your partner to be with exclusively you, and vies versa. And if something happens like cheating, you deal with it then, and only then. You don\'t spend your entire relationship worrying about what could happen. Besides, jealous people more often than not are the ones most likely to be the cheater. He basically has you trapped because of a fuckin concern of his! You can\'t even have a social networking site?! These are all signs of a VERY scary relationship. He\'s trying to control you. Get out before its too late!!

Sweet Connie Instead of being this pathetic couch potato, which your newbie is turning you into, you need to take the bull by the horns, and tell your Spud muffin, that You are going to find a job to fulfill some of your days and take up a lot of your time. You don't want to end up like this needy, clingy octopussy who depends on her man to bring home the bacon And hold her hand. He needs to ditch those "insecurities," and be reminded You are Not his "EX." Yes, you're in this "rut," and it will only get worse, if you don't do something about getting back some of your social life And self respect as well. What is good for the goose, should also be good for the gander, and if you don't quack up, you will not only be standing for this, but stooping for more in the barn yard, with Crazier "days so long." Good luck.xx

Agree to above post ...... you are being controlled by HIS past. You need to move fast or you will get sucked in completely. This could take years of your life (to have love, you need trust) Anything good you do have now will not grow, it will stagnate and wither away, but before it does it will get nasty..... when you do start to break this dependency be prepared for acting act behavior from him. You may become a object of transference for him and his stuff, will be all played out. You are not responsible for this..... you are not being unreasonable to want to have a life of your own. Finally you are not helping him by just going okay I'll stay at home....... because let me enlighten you ....... it is playing and feeding into the insecurity......... making it bigger.... and on some level you saying to HIM you are right I need to stay in doors I am not to be trusted. Can you see how the is irrational logic. How about communicating rationally...... this may get nasty.... so nip it in the bud...... good luck

CONNIE21, Sweetie, I can soooo understand your thoughts and sadness. I would absolutely love to help you!! I work as a Strategic Intervention Coach and I emphasize the 6 human needs and how we meet them for ourselves and for our partners. I truly think that with a few sessions, you would be armed with the tools to have a happy, healthy, STRONG marriage that will fill your life with gratitude, abundance, and PASSION!! Feel free to email me at [e-mail address removed]