She can't stop looking at other men while we're out together

I'm in my late '30's and fairly good-looking with an athletic/ muscular build and I've been in a relationship for 10 months with a wonderful woman. We tell each other we love each other several times a day. We have discussed the ' M ' word on multiple occasions and are a genuinely close couple. But...throughout our time together my partner has been prone to letting her eyes wander. This is a source of great frustration to me. Almost every single time we are out in public as a couple she ' latches on ' to other men with her eyes. She does it time and time again, without fail - while I'm right next to her! Just yesterday, for instance, I finished work & went with her to get my child from school ( I'm a single parent ). I pulled up in the school drive, got out of my car, and walked to a small fence and beckoned my son over. I noticed a toned guy in gym gear walking across the staff car park towards where my car was parked. I looked at my girlfriend sitting in my car with her gaze firmly fixed on the guy. As I got in my car to leave the school the other guy was coming out with his car. As he drove slowly past us - about 5 feet away - my girlfriend craned her neck to look directly at him. It made me feel physically ill but my son was in the car now, so I said nothing. Then, a short time later, as we were coming out of a shopping complex, a tall, pony-tailed surfer-type walking in front of us caught her eye - while she was holding my hand for pete's sake! When the surfer rounded the corner and went right (we were going left to the car park), you can be sure where her eyes went. Then, as we were leaving the complex, I noticed her ogling a muscular Asian guy who was standing, texting on his phone a short distance away - While I'm next to her in my car with my little boy. She does this all the time. ALL the time. And she denies it and makes up stupid excuses. For example: She was checking out a good looking guy ( while we were out driving ) so overtly while he was walking his dog. She said she was looking at the dog - I didn't know the dog was hovering six feet above the ground - where her gaze was! I have never seen her head snap around so quickly. She says I'm imagining things. I have a measured IQ of 140 - so I'm not a total idiot, and I recognise perving when I see it. Then, just tonight, we had my brother and a friend of mine over for dinner. For nearly 4 hours she totally ignored me and spent it talking and laughing with them. I have so much love for this woman that it really cuts me when she does what she does. I strictly don't look at other women while out with my girl as I know it would hurt her feelings - but obviously she doesn't share my philosophy. I have told her to perve her heart out while I'm not around, but she doesn't look at other men like that she says. I've seen what she does in front of me so I can only imagine what she does when I'm not there! I shouldn't be treated with such disrespect by someone I am contemplating marrying. We are supposed to be moving in together in 2 months and I don't know what to do.

Hi May I ask you have you experienced infidelity from previous partners? You sound like someone that is terrified of getting hurt, and being betrayed. You have got to get to the bottom of this or it will drive you insane...... is it possible that you are looking for this to happen..... you have exquisite detail of these men...... you are holding on to this just a little bit too long...... and it is hurting you..... I think you are hard on yourself..... How is you sex life together ? It could also be a defense from her part... maybe her ex fella used to do this and made her feel crap..... so in order to control that happening again she does it to you..... However she is coming across as not being fully present with you.... have you discussed this with her?

Bluestar, if you've only been together for 10 months then you really don't know her properly. If you tell each other that you love each other daily (communication) then you should be able to discuss with her why her habit frustrates you. You also need to ask yourself why you're insecure about her wondering eyes. One things for sure, if you both were 100% with each other in your relationship, you wouldn't need this forum to sort this issue.

It could be that she just does this to wind you up. Knowing the jealousy it causes you which results in you giving her more attention. Kind of attention seeking. She knows you react so she does it more. Maybe you should try ignoring her 'ogling' for about a week. Dont say anything to her, act like you dont care and let her stare. If she notices that you are no longer re-acting to her flirtatious behaviour she may just start paying you that extra attention. If all else fails why not adopt the same approach! For a few days YOU try doing the 'ogling' and see if she re-acts!