Be nice to have some opinions (deep life help)

Okay so first I will just start off by saying whats on my mind, then I'll give background info. -So tonight I've been thinking about me and life. Im so scared as to how I'll end up going off how it is now. I know things change but I just don't see when that change will ever happen. All my life has been rough. Always dealin with worryin bout lights gettin cut off, beening able to just live. If my life wouldve been poverty as my only problem, id see change will happen. When you have no mom, a effed up dad, and always strugglin it just makes it hard. Im 18 worked at the same job 2years. Even though I have a job I grew up just finding ways to make money how I can. Ever since I was 15 I been selling and being crazy just to get a little bit of money to try to find some happyness. Its like ya I have a job but there is so much bs and the company is just crap. I feel dead end with it, and everytime i try to find another job I either dont get a callback or they arent hiring. It makes me so lost as in what to do. I keep feelings like I haft to go against the law just to get money. People say there is other ways but I just dont see where those ways are. Im just so scared if this is life now how will it change what is to see the rest of life wont be this way? It is just at the point only way I see life ending up is me strugglin till i die or end up in jail, but heck its like my life is jail anyways mind as well be i jail. Im just so lost and I cant take it mentally, emotionally or pysichally anymore. Its just at the point where im at that last little bit of juice of motivation to not just chi and lets life blow away...

Also school... Well that ig a whole other story on its own..

Texaskid, life mostly starts that way when you get independent. There have been days where we have eaten only once a day to save up money. Things are tough but as years progress things do get better. For example you say people don't call back, they probably don't call back coz you are young and have less experience? As you get older that obstacle gets moved. Plus when we work for years together, we slowly learn how to save up too. As savings grow, happiness comes with it. Agreed your current job is not good. Why don't you keep a constant look out for hiring ads? At somepoint of time something will click for sure. We just need to wait a bit for that to happen. They say the night is darkest just before sun rise. Your sun rise is soon coming!