Am I a control freak! Or is it him

Let's start at the beginning I'm 23 years old been with my fiancé for 8 years due to get married in 10 months. I love him with all my heart but there are times where I could kill him due the frustration I face with him. He is the youngest of 3 kids and I am the eldest. It all started 5 years ago when I have had enough of the way he treated me; I found out he had joined serval sex sites paid and unpaid emailing women many didn't reply as he hadn't displayed a photo but there is always the one that does. It turned out they where chatting back and forth about each other's day (this explained why he was on his computer all the time even when I went over I would fall asleep on his bed while he would be on there for hours) so I eventually had enough and refused to see him if that was the quality in which we spend time together. Until one day my gut said other wise I know his email password so I checked and there is was 4 to 5 sites each worse then the other the most disappointing thing was at the time I was a uni student in my first year so money was tight regardless leaving with my parents so I use to live pay check to pay check one day he called while I was at work and asked me to get him a prepaid Visa card and food so with the last 70.00 left in my account I did just that meaning I would not get to eat that day due to being at work. On my break I dropped the food and the card off and made my way back to work little did I know that money was going to go to sex sites where he would outright ask for a f*? Going through these msgs was the worst day of my life. I hope you never experience your heart pounding so hard and fast feeling like it's going to jump straight out of your mouth. As i pulled myself together look and search a little more I found the photo which he has sent her where I was completely cut out like i never exist. What hurt the most is that he didn't not use to ask me how my day was or how I am doing. At first when I confronted him he called me crazy them said how dear I invade his privacy them he explained to that when you join up sex sites they subscribe you automatically being young and stupid I believe him wiped my tears and forgave him. Until a couple of weeks later when I thought about it so I confronted him which became a big mess I buggered him to admission where he physical through me out of his house. In this state I drove home to get a phone call thinking his going to say sorry but turns out he just wanted to put salt in the wound calling a stupid bitch to go f*?! myself. At that moment I ended all contact for 1month. Until one day when I picked up the private number not realising it was him we spoke and reluctantly I agreed to dinner where he spoke and made promises. The next night it was my brothers 18th I wanted to go but not ready for him to come along so he went out with his mates and couple I days later I find out he had hocked up with some chick still to this day he believes we wherent together so he didn't cheat. I put it aside and the next couple of year where fine we grow up together and changed until the day he sign up for the gym. When I was younger I was not allowed to go out clubbing with out him period so a couple of times I lied always got caught out; but as his 2 years older he use to go out clubbing with his friends and come home late abd all of a sudden he was over clubbing now that I am of age to go. I was lot happy with the gym due to my dislike he signed up anyways told me after. He would go for hours and hours get home late I would call and no answer replies on would be sorry didn't that've my phone on me let's give it a miss as I haven't had a shower. So I asked him please let me when you go so I don't wait for you. He did I for the first week then forgot and forgot 2years down the track with many fights and drama he eventually did it as I had hit my breaking point. Never once have I said no don't go when he has msged. Then the issue of going at 5:30 when he finishes work at 2:00 mostly every day to socialise by the time he is done it's like 8:30 still to have a shower ! May I add to even if he is going earlier his always late he has stood me up for dinners waiting for him to pick me up didn't contact me untill 9:30 and for coffees where he is always late 45min. His always has an excuse always but this but that didn't even get to train but but but sorry but. So trying to stay sane I asked him to be home before 8 so by the time his done and ready we can see each other months have passed his late; he forgets to let me know when he goes. I'm so sick of talking bout it that I just feel like his so irresponsible he can't manage his time or priorities. So at the start of week we where fine he spend couple of days with me and then he hounded me for sex I was not in the mood. He started saying he has need we have sex 2 times at lest in a week or more and so on. I got angry and left the next day I took time to cool off called him after work and said I miss him and put shit aside not knowing he spend the day with mates and went to the gym and that's why he was late to coffee. The next day I asked and he told me then I got mad and refused to see him. The next day I called got over it and invited him out for lunch. In which after I had to work I was so nice and loving and I told him if it's ok after work we can do something in which he said yes. When I had finished I waited about an hour before calling him; waiting to see if he would call I which he never did so i had too to find out he is at the gym forgot to tell me. He doesn't remember when I finish work or MSG me to find out ( I finsh the same time everyday) and he use this excuses every time. I just can't understand in these past 2+ years I have begged, point how it makes me feel, tried a solution and given him an ultimatums but nothing works of he his not happy doing it why does he agree? I dnt feel like I am being controlling it at the same time lossing my mind with frustration it was less then 24hrs ago that I spoke to him telling him tell me when u go and he repeats it is he stupid. I just get so mad as I am never late I always tell him him wher I'm going out of curtsy I have never asked him to ask permission but to do the same as I do. He always say I dnt need to tell you wat I am doing all the time. I haven't asked you to do it then why would he agree. Also he wants to go out too he is like I never stop you from doing what you want I didn't want you to take this new job but I supported you. It's not fair to f*?! Change the rulers just cause he wants to. I will add this though he has changed in to a better persons in many ways that I can not explain he treats me with respect and I give him shit back but why is something/ things so simple so hard for him. Is it me?