Boring relationship

my partner and I have been together 4 years. I am 22 and he is 23 we have a two year old together. When we first together there was a instant attraction to each other we were always together and fell in love within a few months It was really nice, as I know the beginning of relationships are always the best and we have had a fair share of ups and downs but we have always had that connection. Of lately things have gone abit boring, we never go anywhere or text much really. Were both young and I want to be excited by him and have that spark but we don't have that anymore. It effects me more than It does him because he is a very laid back person for his age he rarely goes out with his mates and he works full time. In his spare time he just stays in, goes to the gym or works on his car. I love to be wined and dined taken care of all of that. I generally love being in a relationship. But this one lacks something and I don't know what to do. Whenever I try talking to him he says things like why don't u suggest we do something but I always do and its nice to be asked out. Its not just us not going out but we rarely spend quality time together and when we do hes on his phone and so am I. I do love him but im not in love with and I don't think he fears he could lose me. I get guys hitting on me all the time which is so annoying because I only want my boyfriends attention and affectionate. what do I do I cant live like this anymore

I feeeeelll like he might be done with you a bit? He's super uninterested, never really has ideas to take you out, and he's a casual laid back guy. A guy, no matter how laid back, if he really loves you will be think about you every once in a while, even subconsciously. You feel like you're not getting what you want, you're noticing other guys hitting on you (which, lets face it, when you're in that happy stage of a relationship you could have a guy strip off his shirt in front of you and probably not really associate that with hitting on you.), and he's not doing anything. You are both either A) in a rut that you need to get out of or B) Simply done with each other. <br> Before you go making a decision on that though, think about this, do YOU do everything you can to make him happy in your spare time? Have you tried to get interested in what he does when he works on his car? Do you try and take care of him as much as you want him to take care of you? Is is an equal thing, or do you want more than you'll give? Does he ask for more and get unhappy when you don't live up to it? Try talking to him, calmly, and ask him what it is about you that isn't exciting him the way it used to. Try working it out. <br> But if he won't give you an answer and he just seems overall shut down, he's probably feeling done and uninterested. If he stays unresponsive tell him exactly what you put here. You might be with him, he might be with you, but that does not mean you need to stay together. If the spark is no longer there, tell him. Explain that he doesn't act as nice or treat you as fancily as he used to, and say that you need a little bit of that to be happy. Tell him if he'll give you a little bit of what you want, you'll make an effort to get involved in his side of things. If he can't give you a little bit or doesn't care, then calmly tell him you're leaving him. You never, ever stop loving anyone, you simply move on and find someone you love more. Your daughter will be happy if she is in an environment with an example of a happy relationship. She needs a father figure, yes, but she will be happy with whomever you have as a stable example who puts out effort.

yes I agree I feel like we are in a rut that we cant get out of but only I see it. to him everything is ok. its so confusing because we wont talk much then he'll just pop up here (my place) randomly and chill out or stay over then I don't hear much from here. I will try and have a talk with him but what do I say do I bring up other guys taking a interest what do I do? my friend told me I should see other guys and let them spoil me but im not that kind of girl

Tell him exactly what you said here or something like this: he's not really acting like he's in a relationship, you feel like he's done. Is there anything you can do to make him feel better/get more involved? and if he doesn't say anything, tell him you're done with him. and yeah, no, don't cheat. Thats always bad.lol. but yeah, drop him if he won't even talk about it and drop him if you talk but it goes no where. You've got better options, you're with him because you think he's special and chose him, not because you need to stay with him.

Fiona, your relationship lacks communication and when you say you're not in love with him, but only love him, then you either find a way to fall in love again with him or basically move on. His personality dictates that he needs to be 'kicked into gear' for extras in the relationship (quality time etc) and it's obvious that he's happy with the way things are. When you state he's laid back and you don't think he fears losing you, then you're probably right. You need to be happy and you have stated what you need from a relationship. You need to take control of your life rather than waiting for your BF to make you happy. Don't settle for second best, settle for what you need and deserve. Sit him down and communicate what you need from the relationship. If he responds in the right way, then your relationship might have a chance, if he doesn't, then you need to move on to find a happy environment suited for you and your child.