Got cheated on...

So I've got a problem and no friends to help me deal with it. Background: Fake names because fml I'm Roy, my girlfriend's Lilith, her best friend's Bitch, and she cheated on me with Dick I'm 20, she's 18. We've been very close friends for 6 years, and dating for 2. We've been living together for a year, and I'm closer to the people in her family than I am to anyone in mine. She's my first love, and I really do love her. Every little thing she does drives me crazy. She sings to the radio, adorably off key. Her eyes are a shade of hazel I never thought could be so beautiful. I love the way she talks, the way she moves, the way she acts; I'm obsessed with her. She's my best friend. My only friend, really. The only one who's ever got my back. I've got an anxiety problem so I guess that's kinda hard to deal with from her end. But I take care of her. She's working 12 hours today, and we're going to have the biggest discussion of our relationship tonight. One night a week ago, she stayed the night at this guy's house. Like, guy that I absolutely hate. She said she was working to find other arrangements, so I was frantically calling people. So, she was saying she was trying to get a hold of Bitch to a ride to her place for the night; she lives right next to Lilith's work, so, it'd work out better. So I messaged Bitch on facebook seeing if I could get a hold of her that way. I did. They'd been texting for hours and she had no idea she was at Dick's house. In the morning I looked through her messages to Dick on facebook, and she was telling him she wanted to sleep with him. So I called her on break, we had a massive fight and I was the bad guy because I didn't trust her enough to talk to her instead of snoop with Bitch. So anyway. We've been "on a break" for four days now. It's hell for me. She still expects me to be all over her and wait on her hand and foot, all the while what she does with other people being "none of my business." Last night we fooled around a bit. I was really insecure so she reassured me by saying she never wanted to give head to anyone else. She's at work for 12 hours, and I just went through her messages again. Unlike what she swore to me, something did happen that night. They kissed and she told Bitch, but there was more that they were going to keep quiet. Dick just got out of a long relationship and doesn't want to be in one again. The message that really killed me though was when he asked for head and she agreed to it. The time was immediately before she logged off and went to bed with me, last night. So we're going to talk about that tonight. She doesn't know it yet, but we are. And I have no idea what I'm going to do. I'd love to think that she values our relationship more than being some random guy's rebound bitch. I'd love to think she'll want to work this out as much as I do. I'm giving her the two options tonight, and standing my ground for the first time. I just. Don't know what I should do. Sex is important to me and it's not to her. I'm so afraid. And alone. I know a total of two other people my age, one of whom is a pothead with no emotions and the other is a girl who hates Lilith. What. Do. I. Do.

If you can't trust her, regardless of your past and how long you've been with her etc..then you don't have much of a relationship with her. Personally, I wouldn't be with a woman who I had lived with for a year, who told me to mind my business when she's with other people. If she expected me to be all over her while she was doing this, I'd tell her where to go. And there's no way she can 'have your back' if she's behaving the way she is. And by the looks of it, and by her actions, she IS someone else's rebound bitch.

From what I have read I feel the relationship is somewhat messy and built on distrust and lies. If I were in a relationship I would want it to be built on truth and love. You obviously value this relationship because you have gotten back together in the past but from what I have heard this girl has done, its clear to see were her values in life lie. I would say forgive her from your heart and apologise for sneaking on her phone and pressuring sex in the relationship if that has happened. Fooling around with her I think was a wrong move. To save you from further heartache I suggest just dropping it with this girl but if you want to continue the relationship I think changes will probably need to be made but the question is will they? You know her better than what a stranger over the internet does. Remember life is full of goodness and a relationship with purity is a sacred thing to find. Be gentle if you are going to talk to her and don't waste too much time and find yourself in this life.