Not sure wife loves me

I new to this forum and not sure what to do about my problem. So a bit worried and concerned about the future. First I have been married for 29 years, our marriage had had its problems but we have stuck together have raised 2 children both now in their early 20s. I would say I haven't been the best husband in world , not that I have unfaithful but not the most emotionally connected person, focused on work and providing for the family , more a financial way. My wife is a strong women and has been through a relatively tuff upbringing. Over the past few years I've changed a bit or I've come to realise the importance of family an d close relationships require work so I have been doing my best to be a better man for my wife. AI have recently 2 years been treated with depression and been on medication , not heavy duty stuff just to manage anxiety etc. during the past year or so I have noticed my wife doesn't engage in any intimate contact with me, even sex has become a series of reasons not to have it, previously she would alway be interested and often initiate it. She sleeps way over to the edge of the bed the further away-from me, I try to reach out and cuddle her but it just feels like a obligatory touch or stroke of the arm and once I stop she rolls over away from me. She never comes up to me to hug me me or kisses me or hold hands. I know over the years I haven't probably done enough of this but the change has been dramatic in her. A year or so ago we had an argument about a new iPhone I brought for her , she wouldn't let me see it or her messages which I was suspicious off. She has also a laptop that she doesn't like me seeing her emails etc. 2Years ago I changed jobs which meant I was away several nights each week , the job change was to earn some more money so we could be more. Comfortable and also help our kids as they started out in life. During this time I have noticed the changes in her. She alwAys tells me she supports me but has always told me I don't give her what she wants which iOS when I ask it's about specific events that she mentions in the past where I didn't do something . It's just been a slow build up of awareness for me, maybe I'm a slow learner and haven't picked up the clues early enough, recently she has said to me after I have got a bit emotional about our relationship and life in general since the kids have more or less off our hands that we are more like good friends. Over the past few weeks I have made a big effort to leave notes text message her saying I love her and she acknowledges them but doesn't say she loves me in return. I genuinely believe she cares fir me but I don't think she loves me, whilst that is great to know I feel lonely as I think her romantic energy is focused somewhere else, this the hardest part for me. She manages our bank accounts so I don't really know if she is spending on anything that would indicate an affair. I built up the courage to ask her if she was seeing someone else, she said no. She wants to go overseas to see her parent overseas and I said she could go on her own as I can't get time off work. She said she would like some time on her own for a change. She leaves in a month. She is a good women but I'm fearful for the future? I'm not sure I can keep pretending everything is ok. I need some advice?

Thank you for your reply. I have spoken to my wife about going to councelling but she doesn't want to go. She thinks I should go on my own as I need to sort out my own issues.? I'll try an talk about it again.

If your wife refuses counseling then it's most likely she's dealing with it herself, particularly when you state she's a strong women. Her actions should tell you that it's also most likely that she has made some decisions about the future and her independence is coming to the fore when she's quite happy to travel OS alone. Pretending that everything's all ok when you know it's not is useless. Go to counseling by yourself and then take it from there. By going there's no guarantee it will help you, but if you don't go, you'll never know.