I am in a relationship with a guy but I feel like I need a girl
ANONYMOUS.A - May 27 2014 at 14:39
I am in a happy 5 month old relationship, we talk non-stop, we share stuff in common and we understand eachother (well most of the time) but sometimes I feel too empty. I feel like no matter how much we talk or share, he's still a guy and he wont really understand me like a girl would. Certain characteristics are hard to find in men, I can't really explain why I am drawn to women, I don't know if its temporary or permanent I don't know if its me being over depressed because we recently fought or is it for real I don't really into a specific girl in mind but I just feel that need from time to time. sexually I'm attracted to both I've been always more into women but I never dated any or stated I am lesbian or bisexual.
I am really confused, Help.
-AAA
It's really hard to know when/if your sexuality has changed. Since there is no real distinct trigger or way to realize it has happened, reliably anyway.
The best way to tell is if you've felt like it for a long period of time. If you could imagine a future with that gender with that will fulfill your requirements i.e emotional and physical.
From what you've said I'd say you sound most definitely at least bisexual. Since you've been in a relationship with a man for 5 months and been happily in love with that person then I'd say your sexuality does include guys in your preference. Maybe the reason you feel this way now is because your comparing the experience of what it would be like to date someone of the opposite gender.
Basically your imagining the perfect relationship, a person with all the qualities you desire, which as you stated is hard to find for obvious reasons. This comparison has lead you to thinking that you've found these traits more often in girls, therefore you think maybe you're more into them, or find that scenario more appealing, as its much easier to get those traits or aspects of a relationship that you don't have now. Potentially not realizing the aspects of the relationship you like and have now. And if you don't realize those aspects then you'd possibly overlook the aspects of a relationship with a guy that you like that aren't present in relationships with women.
If you find that, that isn't an issue or there isn't a big divide between dating a man or women. Then you're purely Bisexual in my opinion, if you find you like more aspects in a female relationship than in a mans you tend towards the female side. For the male side vice versa.
Have you ever been in a relationship with another female? When someone people experience that sort of relationship they sometimes change their sexual preferences to adjust to it. Since now they have more information and experience. If you have experienced a female relationship, then this may not be an issue.
In summation what I think is that you are at least bisexual right now from your description. This may be temporary as your in a bad time in the relationship and are therefore comparing this one to an ideal one, potentially over-looking the good aspects you care for a lot that might not be present in other relationships with these ideal traits you want. Lack of experience could also be a limiting factor in discovering your sexuality.
I hope this help somewhat and maybe raised some questions for you to think about. I wish you good luck in your relationship and have a wonderful day :)