I don't know what I am

I don't know how to say this properly but I am somehow feeling-less. I do feel physical pain and I do feel emotional pain but seeing emotional pain even in the closest people to me doesn't affect me, in fact sometimes its pleasing to me. Sometimes I am so cold like I am a different person. I feel powerful and proud when I actually hurt someone and when I truly get attached to someone and get him fully attached to me it's my mission to push him and let him truly hate me, it's like a game to me. I just confessed that to my boyfriend and he literally said nothing for more than 7 minutes that I had to hang up(I honestly don't blame him). I don't know if I am evil or in need of psychological help or is it's just part of who I am, either ways I need to get rid of it because it is slowly destroying me and everything I care about. Help -AAA

The fact that emotional pain of others doesn't effect you doesn't really seem like an issue. However this pleasure part is very worrying. It's very much schadenfreude, the taking of pleasure in other peoples pain, however yours is to the extreme. Are you sure this isn't just a phase your going through? You clearly realize logically this isn't good for you, try to use that logical awareness to stop yourself when you know your about to do something like that. Don't you get pleasure from people actually being close too? Or do you not get any sort of enjoyment out of having close friends? Is this recent too? Or have you felt like this for years? I'd suggest for trying to combat it yourself, using your logical awareness that overall this is bad for you. Maybe even blame yourself, make yourself feel guilty for some things. A good method of self improvement is to blame yourself for things you did wrong, and seeing how you could improve from that mistake. If it ends up not working however, see a psychologist. You'll probably need to be taught some self-coping techniques to get it gone. Stay strong and determined to change yourself, that will increase the chances of you actually changing this negative aspect of yourself currently. I wish you the best of luck with that.

17

I hope to god you are not her, she acts just like this. Grow up you fucking kid.