Separation

Me and my husband where together for 3 1/2 years this August would make 4 and we have been married for 2 1/2 years this October would make 3 we have a 2 year old son and we separated in February I left him at the time for personal reasons and did not want to do so in fear of losing him but like I said I did anyway we got into an argument in early march and I told him I wanted a divorce but I was just angry I didn't really want one. Well then about mid march he started dating one of my friends who has a three year old son i didn't think it would last so i let it slide but now they are moving in together and I've asked him for a second chance and not to rush things with her he told me he'd think about it. We are going to start going to lunch on Mondays but I need some advice on what to do/say and what not to do/say to get him back.

Krystal, firstly..your husband can't make a real go of moving in with your friend if he's stated that he'll think about getting back with you..and secondly, he needs to be over you completely to be able to be successful in another relationship. There really isn't anything you can say or do to get him back. You can't make him come back - he has to have the NEED rather than the want to come back. You also need to ask yourself why you were prepared to let it slide when he started dating your friend and why you didn't ask him to come back then, regardless if you stated you didn't think it would last. Most importantly, you need to consider your 2 year old son who needs a stable environment and happy parents to prosper. Counseling could assist you BOTH to getting back together but, as with all relationships, it would need to be mutual.

My advice? Firstly, Please make sure you dont lower yourself to such extent where you also agree to being intimate with him knowing he is already intimate with your friend. That way, he will always have the best of both worlds and you or your friend will always be the 'other' woman AND he wont feel as if he will have lost you because you will still be there physicaly for him. It probably WONT last with him and your friend. You and him have history together AND a child therefore I dont think he will forget that too easily. You need to play wise here. YOUR friend had no right to betray your trust neither should she have interefered knowing how vulnerable the situation was and THAT is what you need to keep reminding him of. Show him/explain to him how hurt you feel and how your so called friend is a vindictive woman and a home wrecker. she may have manipulated the situation by jumping into bed with him but you can manipulate the situation on a more of a mental level. If you really DO want him back, on Monday when you both meet, I think you need to come across as being confident around him. Make yourself look beautiful and sexy. Show him what he will be missing. Talk about your son. Explain to him that if he does decide to set up home with your friend, then eventually you too, will meet someone and will also settle down but who will lose out? Your son. Play the emotional card but dont come across needy. Good luck.