Control issues

Hi, I split up from my partner in september, it was my own fault as i had an alcohol problem and i suffer from mental health problems. It put a huge strain on our relationship and i pushed it too far that eventually we ended up splitting up. I thought that it was all over and i was distraught, i guess it was a case of realising what i had lost and i wanted it back so badly. She was adament that she was over me and started dating another guy and i was trying to move on on several instances but my ex had such a control over me and we met up and things got physical. She ended things with the guy and we have been seeing each other since october. However, she is constantly reminding me that she doesn't want a relationship, but we are sleeping together and when we are together we act extremly coupley. The hard part though is that she has complete control and picks and chooses when she wants to see me and what happens etc. It is hard because i am completely in love with her still. She is moving away in April next year and is constantly telling me that we can have a casual thing but not a serious relationship. We were together for just over a year before we split up so I find it hard to have a non serious thing with her. She will not tell anyone we are seeing each other and refuses me to talk to anyone about our situation. I am desperate for help because i don't know where to turn. I feel like she is controlling every part of me and i am falling into her web because i will literally do anything for her. I would really appreciate any kind of advice that anyone has on my situation. How do i win back some form of control?

i been in the exact situation shes in im back with my otherhalf n hes not changed 1 bit only when i got back with him he tied me down with a baby n i hate it i love my baby but i feel stuck with him although im in 2 minds and want things to work every time i build it back up he knocks it down again! do u really think you change?

The way you behave shows what you want and can accept. She is honest with you it seems and tells you exactly whats on her mind. If you can accept her game, then sleep with her until she leaves. If you'd rather get over her and not being controlled, then stop it. Say you'd love to be a friends, hang out, but not cross the sex line. Coz it'll be painful for you when she leaves. If you can't show her you are in control of your own self-respect -- for her it probably means that you are not in control of your drinking problems. Get some self-respect and stop this humiliation on yourself. But remember that you probably hurt her before she left. Don't blame her. Just decide what you want and stick to it.