Falling for someone in a relationship

I got really close to a guy in school and we actually became more than friends.. we secretly became a couple. However, we had an expiration date. He is a foreign student and was graduating during the term we got close (while I had two more terms) and was bound to go back home to his country. He had a girlfriend back in his country. I am in my 20s and never had a boyfriend . It started off with him offering to be my boyfriend for 3 months after asking a favor from me (in 3 months he was leaving). I didn’t take it seriously because it seemed like a joke. But later on he said he was not kidding and said he wants to take care of me and be close to me because I am a good person and unlike other girls. I did not approve of his idea. I am not the type of girl who seeks a boyfriend just for the sake of having one. I do not want to have a boyfriend with no attachment. Moreover, he had a girlfriend and it is not good and he was leaving anyway.. so what’s the point? I told him it’s better we just stay good friends. And he was ok with that. The thing was we got even closer after that. He’d invite me to cook with him every day in his apartment which was just in front of school. We’d do groceries together and cook dinner. That was fine with me because there are not much good eating places near school so we’re better off cooking. Later on, he would walk me home every night. He’d also ask me to call and wake him up every day for lunch. Later on we’d also go to the mall/eat out wherever on weekends.. We were together almost 24 hrs every day. I noticed it was getting different and I got uncomfortable so there were times I tried to distance myself from him and declined some of his invitations. But then, I just grew closer to him that it got to a point I just couldn’t say no to him anymore. I wanted to always be with him. So it seemed that I ate the words I’ve said before.. I was falling for him. He didn’t have all the qualities I was looking for in a boyfriend but I liked him. I felt comfortable and secure around him. We once went to the beach, just the two of us. The night before the trip he asked me to stay with him so we could leave for the beach together. I agreed. That night, we kissed. In the beach, we kissed again and got very intimate to the point of nearly having sexual intercourse. I told him I am still a virgin and not ready for that yet and he said it’s good and didn’t insist. I slept in his apartment many more times after that. We cuddled, hugged, kissed and got intimate every single night (no intercourse). During those nights, he told me what he liked about me—that more than the physical, he likes my personality because I am good and a very hardworking person. He told me how he feels about me.. He said I make him think about his life.. and if he were given a choice he’d choose me. He said he doesn’t want to leave me, stay w/ me.. He was always saying he had real emotions for me and not for sex. He said he loves me.. many times on different occasions. I said I love him too. Things were going ok for us as a couple until the last month of his stay. Day by day he didn’t treat and care for me the same way as before. Me, I was still the same to him. Before, we’d stay late in school and come to his apartment and sleep together. But I got too busy for some time and for some days I wasn’t able to sleep with him. But there’s just one night that I was willing to put off school work and just stay with him. I told him that and he said ok. But then (it’s hard to explain what happened) it ended up with him leaving me sleeping in school. I felt bad and irritated. I felt as if he was pushing me away. I sent him SMS that I hated him because he left me in school. I told him I wanted to stay w/ him but he seemed to ignore. I just wanted to be next to him and hug him for as much as I can (since we only had a few weeks left together).. He said sorry but he thought I wanted to finish my work. So I just accepted his reason, maybe I misunderstood him. After a few days, in bed, we had a conversation and he asked why I said that (wanted to hug him for as much as I can..) He asked “Is it because you love me?” I think I didn’t answer and just looked at him. Then I asked what he had for me. He said, “Love, maybe not.” My heart sank when I heard that. He said he didn’t expect that I will like him that much. I told him “You told me you love me too.. You told me you love me many times.. does it mean u don’t really mean it?” He said “I love you” has a different meaning for them when they say it. Until now, I could not fathom what that means. I couldn’t remember the other things he said after that. He said he loves me many times before in SMS, calls, chat, in person, in bed, both in English and his language, so I don’t understand what he means. He said yes maybe I am right, that it’s better we just stay friends and asked why have we gone this far. I was not able to answer anymore. I told him he’s breaking my heart, and he seemed surprised hearing that. He said it’s not his fault, it’s the life. In my mind I was thinking, why he was throwing the ball solely to me now. Am I the only one at fault for falling for him? My mind couldn’t process the things he said afterwards after hearing those words, “love, maybe not”. But then he said he’s not kidding about us. And he still kissed me and we got intimate again. So it confused me, what really is he up to. I did not clarify or confront him about the other things he said that night. This is the farthest I’ve been to in terms of having a “relationship” with a guy. He is the first one, and maybe I was still not comfortable facing these things. Maybe I was afraid to confront him and lose him. We were still ok after that but he’s gone colder. Later on he would let me go home alone even if it is late at night already. We still hanged out/eat out and cooked together but not as often.. But me, I was still the same to him. I was still kind and cared for him even more. That night was the last serious conversation we had before he left the country.. We were still ok, we were still always together. We still cook together and sometimes he would still hug or kiss me but not the same way as before. I brought him to the airport on the day of his departure. I was expecting that he at least say some final words before he leaves about what he really feels. Before, he said a lot of things to me, he was very straightforward. But on that day, he said almost nothing. He just said “take care”. We hugged, kissed and bid goodbye. I gave him a letter where I told him about the things I’ll miss about him, how I feel for him and that I wish him happiness and that he will always remain close to my heart. I told him our parting breaks my heart but the letter was generally positive and I still thanked him for what we had. And after reading my letter, he just kid about a certain thing I mentioned in the letter. We parted in a positive way, but my heart is broken and deep inside me there are a lot of unanswered questions. A lot of things remain unclear. Yes at the start I knew he seemed he was not looking to get attached. But when we got even closer and started getting intimate and he started saying those beautiful things to me, like he loves me, he’d choose me, don’t want to leave me, stay with me forever, I thought he changed his mind and actually considered pursuing a true relationship with me. Why did he have to say those things to me, only to take them back towards the end? Was it to just make me fall for him and mislead me? Was there really no true feelings? Before he always told me his emotions for me are real and not for sex or whatever.. Yet in the end it was not clear to me what I really meant to him because it seemed he was pushing me away and didn't care about me anymore but he still hugged/kissed me and wanted my company at times.. Sorry, I just need perspective on all the possible reasons why he acted and said all the things he said. A few days after his arrival on his country, he messaged me online and asked how I was doing. I still haven’t replied until now. I don't know really what to say.. It breaks my heart seeing him online reunited with his girlfriend … everything seems normal with him. I know I should already let go and move on.. However, there's a part of me that seeks for the truth because I just want to understand.. that's why I am confused if I should raise the issues that surface and bother me now and let him know. Because he probably thinks everything is just ok with me because I was still kind to him and all when we parted. If I raise these to him, what do you think will he think? But somehow I still want to retain our friendship.. Appreciate your advice and thanks so much in advance…

Looks like he knowingly/unknowingly made use of situations to get close to you and you in the sweetness of friendship forgot to keep up your guard. Well what I understood is since he was in a foreign land, he must have felt lonely. Though he had a GF it would have been long distance communication which would still leave a gap inside. He tried to fill up the gap with you. For him you were like a stop gap arrangement. Whenever he told he loved you he probably meant "I love you while we are in here together"? By the way which country is he from? For him you were more than a good friend but a little less than a GF. When he said those beautiful things to you, he was just living or trying to live up in a fantasy in which you were his GF. He never meant to realize the fantasy. Practically for him you were not meant to be his partner. Practically for him you both were from different countries so would have to face lots of issues to be a couple together. He was just not ready for all that. He pulled you into his fantasy with his words and actions and you misunderstood it for real. If you raise questions to him, you will not get any better answers than what he has already told you. When he parted all he said was "Take care" which indirectly meant I have already come back into the practical world of reality and I expect you also to have. He wouldn't have any issue staying friends with you but do you feel you want that? Accept the reality that what you both shared was a special friendship. Some moments together which you both cherished. It was a fantasy and its over. If after reading all the opinions here you still are not getting a closure, then by all means do clarify with him and Move On. And yes, next time don't let your guard down coz of emotions.