Male slut aka 'a bitch'

Hello World, first of all I'm not sure how someone replies to this or if someone will even read it but if your reading this for amusement & have nothing to offer me please stop now. This is truely the life of a young man looking to not only become a man but to also leave his foot print on the Earth; hopefully a good foot print as of now you may have already noticed my username LostSoul121 this is simply because I sold my soul, not my body but my Soul. I cannot explain what happend as this is my burden and my curse for me to carry for the rest of my life. Anyways, back to the main story. Ive always had an over eager interest in women although I thought every young male did. As I was growing up at a very young age (roughly around 5) while watching a slight sex scene I'm a movie I noticed the women had red toenails, this was the first erection I ever recall having; at the time I didn't know what it was but I knew it felt good. As the years went by I convinced a slightly older girl to take her shoes of to enter my tent as it was a "no shoes allowed area" simply so i could embrace her feet n please my urges. So as you may know by Now i have a foot fetish. This does not make me a Male Slut as i have titled the topic but as i progress in the storyline hopefully you will come to the same conclusion as i & a number of people in my society have came to and also the girl that i am looking to start a relationship with. She has a heart of gold and i should know what a heart of gold is like since i have a heart of darkness. Here's a little about myself,I am not in any shape or form an Alpha Male; I am a skinny runt n nearly everyone I know now knows this as when trying to become a man via letting the world know using Facebook I received a lot of hate mail n was forced to publicly announce that I was not an Alpha Male but I was an Alpha Female that connect protect herself from any manly men, AKA a BITCH. Just because I may be a Bitch doesn't mean I'm into homophobic activities it just simply means that I have no main goal in life other than to be stuck in someone else's shadow. This is the person I am trying to destroy & reinvent myself as the newer, better me. The person that is naturally confident, more intelligent, Happy & a pleasure to be around. Up until a few weeks ago I relied on drugs such as cocaine and cannabis, aswell as plenty of alcohol to make me into the person that I wanted to be. As time went on I would only occasionally dabble in a bit of cocaine but mostly cannabis, ganja, grass, wacky-tabacky you know all the names of the stuff. It revealed me to myself and the person I was, was a complete man hure. As my main goal in life was to go out get a bit of pussy, go home, sleep, then repeat. Some people are naturally born good looking, bad looking, in the middle with their faults & bonuses - i am the last one. For starters i have a natural hair cut, its my own personal choice to keep this hair style many people have this same hair style, i also have a bit nose; as it is slighly broken downwards, but from the front i have a nice looking face, my skin has a natural glow to it which comes across as a tan, but isnt actually tanned. I also havent got a manly voice but not a girly voice either i would say its excalty at the point where it is young mans voice. I also created my own chat up line which was the only good thing that ever came from smoking cannabis (I will not reveal the chat up line just yet, but trust me it's one of the best because it is so simple it is so effective) - 9/10 females&males - like it, yes a real ladies man isn't afraid to talk till the same sex. I think all the things i have mentioned have proven that I have quite the touch for the lady's, I hope I haven't cruised myself now that I have posted this but I just need someone to chat with who can offer their advice.

Im not sure what you are wanting advice on. Your age is posted as 19. You are already into drugs. You have a foot fetish that seems to have made a large impact on you. You say you are a "bitch" and seem intent on labeling yourself for some reason. Drugs and alcohol as a way to boost your confidence if false confidence. It isn't real, it doesn't last. You need something real. You don't need the labels. You are a young man who is in the proses of finding himself. Your looks will not define you, your sexual preferences will not define you. You seem intent of degrading yourself, saying you have a "dark heart". If you degrade yourself why would any one want to have a relationship with you, unless they pity you? You need to find your strengths and focus on them. Improve you intelligence and you character. Those are the things that will matter.