Love and heartache

Ok, so i may as well tell you everything from the start, so here goes... Ok, so last year (September time) i met the most beautiful girl i've ever seen, she's amazing with her long dark hair and beautiful eyes, sexy body, but more importantly she had a really nice personality, really sweet, playful and kind. So anyways, we got talking one day and we swapped MSN addys, FB, Myspace etc We talked to each other pretty much everyday for a while, getting to know each other a little bit. We decided to meet one day and go shopping, we had a great time, was fun shopped and then went for some drinks before going home. We became friends, quite close to eachother. She knew that i liked her more than friends but i didn't say anything too her because she had just split with her EX bf. So i decided it would probably be better to give her time and space. We went out with out clubbing with each other pretty much every weekend, i got to meet her friends, and became close to them all (which i thought was a good thing) One weekend we were both at a friends house party when everyone had fallen asleep it was just me and her still up. We talked for what seemed ages, probably about 2 hours of just one on one with her. We ended up kissing and stuff, then went to sleep. All was great. The next morning nothing had really changed, just the fact that she now knew 100% that i was into her. At this point i think i fell for her, just by the fact that she was my type of girl in both looks and the way she was. I asked what she thought about me and her, and she said that she didn't really know and wasn't wanting anything from anyone right now. So i left it at that. I went to Ibiza with my friends this summer for two-weeks, had an amazing time out there. Even when i was out there we text each other everyday. So when i came home i knew there was something different, she was acting weird. Didn't seem herself. A few days after i came home one of her friends told me she was seeing a guy, so i was pretty gutted, more so that she didn't even tell me. So when i asked her if it was true, she lied and said that she wasn't wanting anything from anyone. Even though i knew it was true, that she was seeing someone. I still dont understand why she didn't tell me. So it's been 4 months now, me and her have fallen away. Her personality has changed, i feel i dont even know her anymore. I know that she's been taking coke now also. Her BF is a complete loser, and has a big reputation for being one. He's a drug dealer and a steroid user. I cn't help thinking that it's him that is changing her ways, she's fallen out with some of her friends, and people are starting to notice how she's acting. It was her birthday last month, so i bought her a gift, like her other friends did. Nothing amazing, just some perfume. :-) But what can i do? I can't say anything too her, afterall it's all her choices. So i left it. It was her birthday last month, so i bought her a gift, like her other friends did. Nothing amazing, just some perfume. :-) Then last week i recived a messge on FaceBook. From her BF. Basicaly saying that if i ever buy her anything again he'll "do me in" and that he ripped up the valentines card that i got her in Feb. (He wasn't even with her then) which got me mad. So i talked with her about all this and it just seemed like she wasn't even bothered, she said sorry about that but it just didn't seem asthough she was. Her status on Facebook was something like "I cant wait to see my man <3" so i just took it was she didnt care what her BF had done. I was mad so i text her and told her it's best for me and her to stay away from each other, not to message or talk, or anything. and basicaly said best of luck with her uni work and good bye. She didn't reply. I took her off my Facebook, MSN and my phone - I've seen her out on a weekend once, she just looked at me as i walked past. She didn't say anything. She was with some friends as she never brings her BF out with her as he always kicks off with people if they look at her. So there never together. What should i do? As it's been really hard her not being in my life, i love her so much, and i can only see her getting hurt by this guy. I don't know what i should do now. Any advice would be great.

i can tell you love this girl and i sympathise with you, but she doesnt love you, the facts are, she has lied and decieved you and your friendship, as perfect as she sounds no one is perfect, i think you wanted more than what she wanted from you, and the whole shes not seeing anyone excuse, is probably her not wanting to hurt your feelings by not telling you about this other guy. she has messed you about but i think you have been hoping for too much, and it sounds like you've spent an awful lot of time with her and still got no where, so im guessing she got very comfortable with the attention from you even if she wasnt completely attractive in the bf/gf sense. i mean....it took a drunken night im presuming....weeks or months down the line at a house party for you guys to have a kiss? you've made the classic mistake of falling for a girl who doesnt feel the same way, i personally...have a 3 date rule!...if theres no mutual chemistry between two people then i just cant see how you can "hope" to win her over to like you in that way. there has to be a spark, and a mutual attraction between you guys. shes lied to you yes, but she obviously didnt want to hurt your feelings by telling you straight out, at the same time, this guy sounds like a total jerk, and if she wants to be with him thats her choice. personally, if i were you, forget about her, find someone who appreciates you as much as you appreciate them, i can relate ive liked girls who have not felt anything back. theres plenty of girls out there, its just finding them in the right place, whether you share a mutual interest (im not sure just going out clubbing every weekend is a mutual interest mind!) , just put this girl out of your head, if it takes a few nights out with your mates id do it, get talking to girls and let girls talk to you! dont concentrate on this girl its not healthy, just find someone who tries as hard as you mate, seriously, enjoy christmas, see in the new year, and that 2009 can be seen as the start of a new begining for yourself, im sure other people will add or comment on your story, hopefully they can give you some advice also, this is just my opinion speaking from experience, but hey thats life, you live and learn, theres plenty more girls in your town who im sure you'd get along with and share chemistry with....good luck!

MR_NEWCASTLE Thanks for your reply. I am trying hard to get her out of my head, it just seems to be getting harder at the moment, maybe because it's christmas, who knows! I will do it, just takes time i guess. Have a merry christmas and a happy new year! :-)

Could a female give her opinion on this please. I dont know how she'll be feeling. I feel quite bad for taking her out of my life (Facebook, Phone, MSN etc..) Will she be mad / Annoyed?

I don't think she will be annoyed she has clearly chosen her bf over you several times and ignored you in public. I think she only ever saw you as a friend and didn't know how to tell you. If she is taking drugs and being led bad places by her new bf that's her choice, she sounds like she's not the person for you, so cut your losses and move on. Eventually it will get easier and you will realise its for the best. Also, altho goving her space was a good idea girls need to know how you feel sooner rather than later. If you want a relationship be honest about it. If they are right for you they wont be scared off. Good luck :)

Thanks for your reply! :-) I just don't know what to think or do now. Because her friends are my friends, and we always see each other. Do i just say Hi and walk away?

I'd suggest is to get on with your life.I've been in your situation with a man.Never knew what he wanted.Always changing his mind at the end of it all he had been seeing someone for a few months behind my back.If i looked back ot seemed that at first he liked me and at 1stage we were classed as going out together.He obviosley hadn't felt that strongley towards me.

he wanted to be mates when he knew i liked him.Because he wanted me to be his mate as i did everything for him.That he was scared to risk me being his friend and slave.A good example of this watch stardust the movie.if you get on with your life you will come across someone who will like you for you and not being used.You may be blind to someones elses likes towards you if you continue to wish this girl was with you.You will miss out on other opputunities.She obviously does not care enough for you.If she wants to be witha drug dealer that his her mistake and she will live to regret it in later life.She used you as she knew you would do owt for her thats why she diddn't say how she felt for you she just did not want risk loosing someone who did owt for her.Please find someone better thats the best revenge in life is to move on.you will only be dragged down by her.She obviously hasn't made you happy apart from taking from you.