Is this right?

Hello and thank you for your time. My partner and I have been in a relationship for almost 10 years now lots of good times and lots of had times. Unfortunately I made a huge mistake and did in fact cheat on my partner. I love him and we decided to make this work because we have 2 children together as well. Well ever since I've moved back into the home. I've been called filthy names such as a whore etc.. Even in front of our kids who are young. He even will tell them in detail the mistake I made he'll say that I never loved him or our kids and so on they are only 4 and 6 years old. It now makes me uncomfortable to be intimate with him because of the degrading things he says and he gets extremely upset if I refuse to participate in sexual activity with him so I feel forced out of trying to get out of a fight with him. I understand that I cheated and caused him lots of pain and heartache. I'm starting to think that maybe i do deserve the treatment that I'm getting now? It has now resulted in physical and emotional abuse and sometimes will get so violent that he puts his hands on me and will sometimes threaten my life. Do I deserve this? Should I leave? I feel trapped and my self worth is so low. I don't knew what to do.

Yes, you made a mistake and you have admitted it. Although you both decided to make it work, unfortunately it's not when your partner abuses you about it. For it to work, you need two people making it work. You may be trying but your partner isn't. For the sake of your two children, you need to act and move on from your partner. He needs to deal with it his way, but you don't deserve his inability to accept that it's over and you most certainly don't deserve his abuse. If he can't/won't work with you to try and repair your relationship, then you're wasting your time.

Gracie, Sounds like your partner is punishing you for your mistake every chance he gets. He hasn't forgiven you which means he hasn't let it go, so his belittling is a clear sign of that. He is still angry about what you did and purposely embarrasses you any chance he gets by telling your kids, who fortunately are at the age where they aren't able to comprehend what he means about your mistake. I would suggest you stop having sex w him bc you feel manipulated into sex and you need to stop lying to yourself that this is what you deserve. Yes you cheated and bar none most people would have up and left their partner if they were cheated on. I don't think your partner has accepted what you did was a one time mistake, or perhaps you two haven't really gotten over the infidelity, you just brushed it under the rug and tried to make the relationship work ? I think you both need couple's counseling. Your partner needs an outlet to address his anger and stop blaming you for something you did. Punishing people for their past mistake is not his privilege, only we and god can punish ourselves. You need to stand your ground and remind that. Also remind him that he gave you a second chance but that doesn't give him the right to be abusive. If he can't attempt to move on and forgive you- there's really no point in staying together. You are not trapped and value yourself more to seek help or leave if things won't change. The kids don't deserve to grow up watching their father disrespect and abuse their mother. Good luck